Not Mine

61

Carla

I stood frozen as tears that were bumming, dared to fall down.

One drop

Second

Third

They just rolled down my cheeks mercilessly. I looked ugly. It was just another painful reminder of his psychotic obsession.

"Carla," he held me by my waist as I stumbled back, covering my mouth. I didn't dare to look at him. It was chilly. I was naked and wet but I didn't care. I just wanted to be alone.

"Please leave me," I said without looking up at him.

"Carla," he called out, grabbed my chin, and forcefully yanked my face up to look at him.

"I want to be alone," I whispered in a small voice. To my unknowing, he had already plastered my body against his and soothed me as I didn't feel so cold.

"Look at me," he said sternly when I looked around everywhere but him. His voice left no room for argumentation.

"You are beautiful," he whispered as he cupped one side of my cheek and brushed the trail of tears away with his thumb.

"Leave me alone," I whispered again looking into his eyes, pleading that he would actually understand.

"No; I won't." He declared as he took the white fluff towel and wrapped it around my body. I held it before my chest so it doesn't drop down as he pulled me out to the room. Setting me down on the bed, he moved to the closet as he came back after a minute or so with a nightdress for me. I frowned looking around for the one he threw away before we fucked, because I don't think we are in 'love' and we would ever 'make love'. I guess it was just us succumbing to our basic sexual needs.

He effortlessly slid it on my body. I gritted my teeth looking at him. He has hurt me so much. I feel so stupid for sleeping with him. I guess this is how hard regret hits you. Why just why do I have to be so stupid.

"Sleep," he said pointing to the bed but I hardened my glare on him.

"Carla," a warning rang through his voice.

"I asked you to leave me alone," I didn't back away and gritted out harshly.

"Carla sleep."

"Leave me the fuck alone," I said matching his tone.

"No."

"You wanted a chance right? I am giving but you need to fucking respect my wishes." I bit back. Tears of frustration were ready to leave my eyes.

He glared at me. Just glared. And that was what made me so scared. I wanted to cover away from his glares. His hands balled into fists and his jaw ticked. The thing about Aeden was that he could be all nice but one glare was enough to make your knees buckle and just want to disappear from his sight forever.

But what I wasn't anticipating was, he would push me on the bed. I shrieked as I fell on the bed and he climbed over it before I could make a run. Wrapping his hand around my waist, he pulled me closer to his bare chest and I didn't thrash knowing he wouldn't let me go. It was either his way or no way else.

He buried his face at the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply and a sigh escaped his lips. A sigh of contentment.

I breathed out in defeat and closed my eyes even though I know I will not be able to sleep.

He asked me to accept him.
How can I? After all the things he has done to me. People say forgive and forget but that is not how it works. You can't easily forget. And forgives have to be earned and not demanded by force. All he has ever done was force me into obeying him. He took advantage of me when I was drunk. He scarred me for life, something even if I want, I will never be able to get rid of.