Owned; sequel to Coveted

Hoseok

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM AND MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, COERCION, SA ⚠️

       

        As soon as Namjoon's retreating footsteps silence and the quiet sound of the front door firmly closing echoes through my mind, I feel like screaming. How can he do this to me? How can he just neglect me completely knowing I'm here alone falling apart piece by piece.
       I'm tired of suffering in silence. I'm tired of putting myself last and just sucking it up because I know who my mate is. I'm sick of it all. I love Namjoon so much it's literally destroying me. I don't want to do this anymore. It's becoming extremely clear where his priorities are. I'm not even on the list.
       My eyes fall on Dhea and my heart breaks. What am I supposed to do? I have no one. No where to go. No one to talk to. I'm completely alone. Everyone else has their own issues to deal with. I can't bother them with my stupid loneliness. I feel stupid enough for being so over emotional. I knew what I was getting into.
       It still hurts, however. Always the left behind. The last one thought of. No one ever asking me how I am doing or even caring if I'm still around. I scoff. Forgotten.
      Emotions coursing through me relentlessly, I get up and make my way to the bathroom, staring at my tear streaked reflection in the mirror. I hate everything I see. Is this why I'm not good enough for him? I'm not worthy of a vampire King? Am I ugly and disgusting to look at? Is he embarrassed to call me his??
      Anger and pain take over and I find myself rummaging through the many drawers until I find what I'm looking for. Lifting the scissors, I don't think—I just begin cutting. Chopping off all my hair. The slightly overgrown lengths falling to the floor in a heap. I feel lightened. I cut over and over again until I'm left with practically a military cut.
       Running my fingers over my head, I hiccup a sob and throw the scissors down and pick up one of Namjoon's razor blades. He still uses the old fashioned ones. The extremely sharp open blade. Swallowing hard, I don't think. Just cut. I slice my wrist shallowly. Testing the feel and both hating and loving the sting. A thrill sparks throughout my entire body.
       Biting my lip, I cut again. Deeper. Blood bubbles and pools up on my skin and I groan, letting it run down my hand and drip into the sink.
      Just as quick as the mania, a laugh erupts from my throat. I can't stop as I make cut after cut and fill the sink with blood. So much for my precious lifeblood my mate cannot live without. Is that all I'm good for? This stupid blood? I don't want it. Maybe he doesn't deserve it, either. He's a traitor.
       I wish I could force every last drop from my body and start fresh. The blade clatters from my hand as my fingers go numb. Fingers trembling, I wipe my eyes only to leave streaks of red on my face. Now I look as crazy as I feel.
       Laughter mixing with sobs, I slide to the floor and watch my blood ruin the perfectly pristine white floor of the bathroom. Will he find me here later? Cold and long dead? Will he even care or feel a sense of burden gone?
       I close my eyes and try to relax my body. Am I going into shock? I just feel....numb. I don't feel anything. I don't want to feel anything. Ever again. I'm over this stupid life. I've been miserable the vast majority of it anyway. What's the point of continuing on...
       I feel a light breeze on my face and a familiar scent. Opening my hazy eyes, I frown as a large figure in black kneels down before me and lifts my wrist.
      Zico presses my wrist to his lips and drinks the blood pouring from my wounds. I want to laugh again. Of course. Even in the end it's someone like this that comes to mock my demise. Actually benefitting from it.
      "Well...how'd you come to be like this, hm?" He tsks, lapping at all my cuts and I realize too slowly he's sealing the wounds. Not drinking what's left of me. God, is trying to keep me alive? Can't I just fucking die in peace!
       I try to tug my arm free from his grip but I'm too weak and he's too strong anyway even on my best day. I give up quickly and just stare at him in misery.
      He smiles at me and stands, lifting me up into his arms and carrying me into the bathtub. I flinch as he runs the water and forcibly removes my robe. Now I feel vulnerable and self conscious. I look awful anyway but now...I don't even want to see. Want anyone to see me like this.
      I shakily cover my body the best I can making him scoff. It hurts. Almost as much as Namjoon's indifference to my pain.
      "Why are you hiding what's to be mine?" He smirks, running a hand over my head. "You look good with short hair."
       I glare at him, unable to think of anything to say. I seriously look good to you right now?! He really is crazy. Maybe more than me.
       I turn my glare to my healing wrists and want to cry again. It was almost over. Almost. Why the hell did he save me? Isn't he supposed to be evil? Why a Good Samaritan when I don't want it!
      After fixing a hot bubbly bath for me, I watch in disbelief as he cleans the blood and hair off the bathroom sink and floor, humming to himself as if everything is normal and this is his own fucking house. I feel a slight panic when I hear Dhea stir and he leaves the room.
      About to jump out and run to my daughter's aide, I pause in shock when he returns with her in his arms and places her in my own hands. He didn't hurt her.
       He perches on the edge of the tub while I bounce her gently. She's hungry but I feel way too self conscious to feed her with him watching.
      I look up at him but he just returns my stare with a smirk, raising a brow as if to say something what are you waiting for?
      Turning red, I try to ignore him as I place her to my chest and begin feeding her. Closing my eyes, I force myself to relax for her sake and do the proper parenting thing. She deserves everything from me. I won't neglect her as my mate does to me. It's not fair. She needs me. You can't leave her, idiot. She needs you. Why did you try to kill yourself without thinking of her?
       Tears fill my eyes as I hold her close and kiss her cheek. After the feeding is over, I reluctantly hand her over to Zico's waiting arms as he takes her and changes her diaper before placing her back into bed.
      I warily keep an eye out as I dry off and secure the robe back around my body tightly. Zico slowly approaches me as if predator to prey. His eyes roaming over me hungrily making me shiver and my knees weaken. I hate it so much.
This is not your mate. No matter how much you wish it were. All I want is Namjoon to do this for me, to see me this way. To just fucking be here!
       He caresses the side of my face and I flinch. "W-why are you doing this?" Confused.
      Pulling up my wrist, he kisses the now perfectly pale skin. Blemish free. As if it always were. "Because you are mine. I don't plan on letting you escape me so easily."
       I'm even more confused by that. "But why?" Why me? I don't understand. "Didn't you want Jimin or Jin?"
       He shrugs. "I only wanted to play with them and mess with Taehyung. You, though..." he studies me up and down. "You...I want to keep."
      "I'm not yours." Obviously.
      He laughs and pulls me into his arms, kissing me hungrily and biting my lip until I taste blood. I groan in both pain and forced pleasure. "Are you truly his, though?"
       Pain runs through me. Am I? At this point I'm not sure anymore. "Y-Yes."
      "You don't sound so sure."
      "I'm his." Firmly. Only shaking a little.
      He scoffs. "I don't believe you. You were dying to leave him just an hour ago." He reminds me, squeezing my wrist painfully tight. "Deny it."
      I can't. He isn't wrong. He caught me quite literally red-handed on that front.
      He picks me up easily and throws me on the bed. I sit up at once as he climbs between my legs and rips the rob off my body, tossing it to the floor. Pinning my wrists above my head, he begins kissing and devouring every inch of my body.
      I struggle but can't do much. "S-stop it."
       He lifts his head to stare at me hard. "I do believe you promised to be waiting eagerly for me to fuck you the next time I came back. Instead I'm disappointed by how I find you. Are you going back on our little deal?"
       I gulp. A little scared. "Why do you want this from me? Are you mocking me?"
      He pauses in his actions, cupping my face. "I would not go to such extremes as this if I only wanted to mock you. I want you to want this as much as I do." His gaze traps me and I feel my body slowly begin to react, forcing a gasp from my mouth.
       He kisses me again, his tongue invading, taking. "Beg me. Do it. Now."
      Desperate for breath, I can't speak as his hands run over my body in the most possessive of ways. Like ownership. It hurts. It feels euphoric. I don't know which way is up. My brain is fuzzy and I can't think. It leaves me reeling for reality. How did I get like this again?
      "P-please...please..." Am I begging him to stop or keep going? I'm honestly not sure anymore.
Chuckling, he bites down on my nipple and my entire body stiffens, lifting off the bed as I seek some kind of relief or fulfillment from these overwhelming feelings.
"Look at you." He laps a lazy circle around the swollen peak. "All eager and wet for me." He reaches between my legs and forces his fingers inside me. I cry out but he silences it with his tongue.
I want to stop. This isn't Namjoon. These are not the hands I want touching me, the mouth I want tasting me.
"Please d-don't. Don't do this. I want you to sto—" I gag as his hand flies out to grasp my throat, choking me.
Growling, eyes glowing, he shakes me, tightening his grip. "You do not get a choice in this, my little toy. You'd do well to shut the fuck up and just take it like the little slut you are. You should be fucking happy I'm here entertaining you." He scoffs, finally releasing my throat. I take several painful deep breaths, choking and coughing. "Not even your mate wants you. Just fucking accept this, my little bitch." He squeezes my cheeks painfully before kissing me in a deep forceful way.
His words pierce the tiny part of my heart still intact and I feel myself completely shatter. My body and mind go completely numb as he spreads me open and begins fucking me selfishly. I can no longer feel anything. I don't want to feel anything ever again. I just accept it. This is reality.
I just want to shut it all off. I may still be breathing in this body but that will be it. Not living, just breathing.
Just....breathing.
Just...breathe. Just keep breathing.