the view | minsung

25

after minho had left jisung alone on the viewing deck, he decided to take a stroll around a park not far from the hotel, attempting to clear his mind from what had happened earlier.

minho found himself grappling with confusion over why he had kissed jisung. when jisung's tears began to fall and his distressed face came into view, minho felt a surge of conflicting thoughts. desperate to divert jisung's attention from the height, he impulsively leaned in, their lips meeting in an unexpected kiss.

the kiss was meant as a distraction, a way to alleviate jisung's distress. but minho soon realized he had miscalculated when jisung kissed him back.

following the kiss, a sense of regret and fear settled in minho's heart. he regretted acting on his impulses without jisung's consent, and he felt fear—fear of the complex emotions that surged within him during that kiss.

upon acknowledging the depth of his feelings for jisung, minho resolved to suppress those emotions driven by his fear of falling in love due to the traumatic experiences involving his parents.

looking back at his considerate actions at the skytree that night, minho had tried to convince himself they were merely gestures of friendship. he struggled to accept that his feelings went beyond friendship, but his actions, like the impulsive kiss, indicated otherwise.

currently, minho found himself in a park, wandering aimlessly under the heavy downpour. kicking at the stones scattered along his path, he knew he wasn't prepared to face jisung just yet—not after what had happen.

guilt washed over minho as he remembered leaving jisung alone on the viewing deck, knowing all too well the younger's fear of heights. the most agonizing part was recalling the tears welling in jisung's eyes just before he left.

"FUCK!" minho's voice pierced through the silence of the park, his frustration and self-blame echoing off the trees and wet pavement. the rain poured heavily, soaking him completely, but minho paid it no mind.

he continued to vent his frustration, cursing himself for his impulsive actions. "FUCK, WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID!"

dropping to his knees, he directed his shouts at the ground below him, his tears mixing with the raindrops. he allowed himself to release all the pent-up frustration and pain he had been carrying.

after some time, minho found himself seated on a swing, gazing at the relentless rain. his vision was blurred by his tears and the damp strands of hair hanging over his eyes. as he slowly rocked back and forth, he replayed the events of the night in his mind.

his fingers moved unconsciously to his lips, brushing against them lightly. the memory of jisung's soft, plump lips against his own flooded back, overwhelming him with a mix of emotions.

"strawberry chapstick..." minho mumbled to himself, his mind flashing back to the taste of jisung's lips that were reminiscent of strawberry.

in response, minho's grasp on the swing tightened abruptly, his emotions welling up once more. "i-i can't..." he choked out, his voice quivering.

"i can't fall in l-love with him," he continued to murmur, his tears blending with the raindrops that drenched him, both falling relentlessly as he battled with his conflicted feelings.

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it was already midnight when minho decided to return to his hotel after pouring out his feelings at the park. upon his arrival, he was soaked, prompting the hotel staff to offer him a towel before he proceeded to his room.

hovering his hand over the doorknob, minho hesitated to open the door, still not ready to face jisung. the choice to enter was influenced by his own condition – shivering and with clothes clinging to his skin, he had no option but to seek shelter from the cold and change. however, when he attempted to turn the knob, he found the door locked, signifying that jisung wasn't inside.

using his own keycard, provided by the hotel, minho unlocked the door and entered the room. jisung was nowhere to be found. a mixture of relief and worry washed over him.

minho released a sigh, relieved yet troubled about jisung's whereabouts. first, he opted for a warm shower to chase away the chill and swapped his wet clothes for dry ones. he then settled onto his bed and plugged in his phone to charge.

having drained his phone's battery earlier, he had missed a series of notifications. as his phone powered on, he observed numerous missed calls, private messages, and mentions from the crew.

he began by checking the group chat and discovered hyunjin's message stating that jisung would be staying with him for the night.

"so, he's with hyunjin again," minho muttered to himself. he exited the messaging app and placed his phone back on the bedside table, pondering whether he should read the other messages or not.

minho propped himself up on his arms, his gaze fixed on the ceiling, lost in his thoughts that were slowly consuming him.

his eyes were red and swollen from crying, his voice hoarse from the outburst of emotions.

his gaze shifted to his side, particularly towards jisung's side of the room. a small smile tugged at the corners of minho's lips as he noticed the cat plushie resting on jisung's bed. memories of giving that plushie to jisung came flooding back, and minho mused to himself, "it was just yesterday, huh."

it was true; they had only been in japan for two days, now transitioning into their third as midnight approached. just the previous day, he and jisung were wrapped in each other's arms, even sharing tears and comforting embraces. now, jisung was in hyunjin's room, possibly avoiding him.

"it all happened so quickly," minho continued to murmur. he regretted his impulsive actions earlier, recognizing that it was too soon for such developments.

however, when he was with jisung, time seemed to slow down. it felt as if he had known the younger for a long time, despite the short duration of their acquaintance.

thinking back to the morning before the kiss, they had been teasing each other about what happened at the club and then cuddling on his bed. from there, they visited hyunjin, where minho sought comfort by snuggling up to jisung while he cried, followed by their trip to the skytree.

so many events had unfolded in just a single day, and minho felt overwhelmed by the rapid escalation of their relationship. he found himself pondering, "is this what happens when you're in love...?"

as he continued to stare at the ceiling, he wrestled with his emotions, attempting to untangle the complex feelings swirling within him. at that moment, minho reached a decision, his voice soft but resolute, "i don't want to fall in love."

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ji's notes!
i'm planning on doing scheduled publishing now ahdhhags i finished this chapter yesterday but decided to publish it today cause i want you guys to feel thrilled? 😭😭