lust // h.s.

Bittersweet

Tips, tips, tips?! xx

××

"Medicine?" I softly ask.

He nods, his eyes meeting mine again.

"..Drugs?" I ask nervously.

"No silly." He says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

A huge burden is relieved from my shoulders.

"Then what is it?" I ask, biting down on my lip.

"An anti-depresent." He says.

"When did you begin taking them?" I ask as his fingers comb through my hair.

"A few years ago." , "And they just started to kick in?" He nods.

"I have no clue why."

Another flash of fear hit me as I find myself getting lost in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask a bit hurt.

"You didn't need anything more to worry about." He says.

I bite down on my lip, "I should go to bed." He nods, "Yeah."

We both go back in and place our glasses in the sink.

"Sleep well." He mumbles, I nod and walk up the stairs to Niall's bedroom.

I shut the door and climb into the bed, fitting in between Niall's arms.

He kisses my head softly before drifting back off.

I really want to just think about Niall.

But I can't.

××

Rain.

Another freaking rainy day.

Seattle's a bitch.

I take another spoonful of my Nutella into my mouth.

God was this stuff good.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy Nutella. Which is basically the same thing-

"Uhm. Lottie?" Niall says, coming from the Stairway.

I smile softly, "Your up." He nods giving me a half hearted smile.

"What's wrong?" I ask, screwing on the lid.

"We need to talk.." He says and I respond with a nod.

I follow him to the backyard onning, as he closes the door I can see he's nervous.

"I'm going on tour with Demi."

What?

"So I guess your kind of, breaking up with me." I murmer.

He nods slowly and engulfs me in a hug.

He rubs the small of my back and positions his lips beside my ear.

"I'm sorry, it's just. I think it's the best for the both of us."

I nod, and wrap my arms around his neck.

I mean I've been wanting this to happen.

But..

Who would have imagined how bittersweet this would taste?

Certainly not me.

××

Laying in bed I notice how lonely I am without anyone.

And it was even worse because it was freezing in here.

As the rain pounded on the ceiling I felt the coldness set in and sleep take over.