lust // h.s.

Part 2; confront

My body was still buzzing, I felt like I was high or drunk or something. Although, I've never done either, I often imagined this is what it would feel like.

Harry was talking to me but I was almost oblivious to what he was saying, I heard him talking but had no will to answer him.

Through the slim moon light that had slipped through the heavy curtains that covered the windows, I could see Harry's small smile.

He slipped out of the bed and picked up his underwear from the ground, he put them on and moved to the window as he did I slid on my underwear and pawed around until I found his shirt.

Once I did so, I laid back down and watched his slim silhouette make it's way back to me.

He moved in beside me; pulled the covers around me, and his lips met mine almost instantly.

I knew that we shouldn't be doing this, with our lives on the line and all. But that wasn't even the thing.

The thing was, we weren't a couple.

We never would be a couple, it was just a bunch of built up feelings that came out. Simple - It was lust. Just that, that's all. Period.

But as he pulled away from the kiss, his eyes met mine and I wondered,

How long could I keep convincing myself that?

-

Waking up, dark gloom seeped through the windows and it took a while for my eyes to adjust.

Once they did, I looked to Harry.

His eyes opened lazily, and his lips turned into a small, soft smile.

"Come here baby," He cooed, in a deep and husky voice.

I crawled into his large arms, and he pulled me on top of his body.

"How did you sleep beautiful?"

I rested my head onto his chest. "Good," I said, in a barley audible voice.

His hand laced themselves around my body, and rubbed my shoulder blades. "Great,"

His plump lips pressed themselves against my neck, leaving soft, wet kisses along my jaw.

"Harry,"

His kisses got more passionate and touches more intense, along with the feelings in my body.

"Harry stop,"

"Harry!"

He pulled back quickly, "Wha -"

I pulled myself off his body and walked into the bathroom, clicking the lock on the brass doorknob.

Harry began to knock on the door rapidly, "Charlotte!"

"Charlotte, open up!"

I inhaled a deep breath, and unlocked the door to be met by a nearly naked Harry.

He began to talk but I cut him off, "Just a little morning sickness I guess,"

Pushing past his body, I moved swiftly over the cool ground and sat down on the bed.

Harry followed close behind, and took a seat in front of me. His hand fell on my upper thigh, "What's wrong?"

I felt tingling begin, and pushed his hand off. "This isn't going to work," I finally blurted.

His head cocked to the side slightly, "What?"

I couldn't quite force my eyes to meet his as I spoke. "We hate each other, we have sex, we get close again, and then the cycle just repeats itself."

"I have never hated you a day in my life Charlotte,"

"Then why did you call me those names?"

"I didn't mean any of them, I swear baby." He said, softly.

"Why did you cheat on me?" I asked, keeping my jaw tight and eyes focused elsewhere than him.

"I couldn't control myself, I was going through a hard time and I've apologized time after time."

"I was going through a hard time too," I snapped.

It stayed silent in the room; and I could feel his eyes boring into me. By this time, we were both standing up and drifting backward towards the wall.

"Why did you hit me?"

"Don't bring that up ever again Charlotte." He hissed, and I could feel him getting angry.

"Why did you hit me?" I urged.

"Did you just hear what I fucking said?"

"Tell me why," my voice was shaky as I spoke, and it came out as a whisper as my back hit the wall.

"I don't know why, you know I don't know why. I can't help it, it just happens. I can't fucking control it Charlotte, and you know that just well as I do!" He yelled.

"You know your he reason why I want to kill myself every fucking night?" I screamed back, and his fist rammed forward, busting a hole through the wall beside me.

The tears slid down my cheeks heavily and sobs escaped as his head rested on my shoulder, his hand inside the broken wall still.

-