lust // h.s.

Mixed Emotions

Any tips?! x

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I wake up to the sound of rain and slowly peel open my eyes, realizing I'm in my room at Harry's house.

I quickly peel off the messy sheets and hurry to the bathroom.

I was horrified by the person on the mirror.

My cheeks are streaked with tears, messy hair and bloodshot eyes.

With that image fresh in my mind I turn the warm water on in the shower and strip of my clothes, getting in.

As the water hits my body, I come into reality of last night.

All I can think of is the words he said to me.

That I was the only one.

All I can see is his eyes.

I can still hear is his deep, raspy voice.

And I remember me screaming at him.

And me crying.

But at the end of it all, the main thing I remember is him telling me I was always the one.

And it just made me mad.

Because it made me love him.

But I couldn't.

I wouldn't.

No matter how bad I wanted to.

With the thoughts in my mind, I rinsed off and got out.

And began to dry off, after that I walked to the closet and simply threw on sweats, a hoodie and hurried downstairs.

I really needed to talk to Harry.

And as soon as I got to the living room I'm greeted by him, and his arm around.

Taylor.

Are you fucking serious?

"Char-"

I don't even bother to listen to his plead, and run up the stairs and into my room.

Slamming the door, I lock it and lean against it.

Sinking to the floor, I hear his footsteps and peak under the door seeing Harry's bare feet.

"Let me expla-" I cut him off with a harsh, "Save it."

I mean I wasn't pissed at him, I was just upset.

But as I hear his footsteps walking away, I feel the anger boil up.

He was such a coward.

He had some nerve to-

His footsteps comes back, and he sits at the door.

After a few moments his finger slides under the door with an upside down frowny face scribbled on it.

A small smile takes over my lips.

I toughen my voice up, "It's upside down you dumbass."

He pulls it back and after a minute it slides back under with a right side up frowny face.

"That's stupid." I remark.

"Oh you know you love it.." He coos, and begins to wiggle his finger. Making it 'dance'.

A laugh explodes from me, and he pauses.

"Was that a laugh?" He asks.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, dumbly.

"Oh don't play dumb Char." He says, pulling his finger back.

The same finger appears again with another finger that has a Smiley face scribbled on it.

I laugh once more as he wiggles them.

This was retarded.

"I really wish I didn't love someone so-"

I cut myself off.

I just said I loved him.

No.

After a few moments Harry mumbles, "Charlotte. It's okay."

I stand up and recover myself.

I wasn't just going to let myself fall for him again.

Because he wouldn't catch me.

"Goodnight Harry."