lust // h.s.

Resentment

××

I quickly grasped my phone and dialed his number that I've come to know by heart.

Hitting send, I hear the solid rings.

1 ring.

2.

3.

4

5.

6.

A click comes from the other line.

He just declined the call.

Probably a mistake.

I call again, listening to the ring.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5-

He declines it again.

I can feel a lump forming in my throat.

Why did he jut leave?

Why couldn't he tell me?

Why wouldn't he answer?

I can feel the tears forming inside the corner of my eyes quickly.

Was I really that bad?

Did I do something wrong?

Was I not good enough?

As I set my phone down, I can feel the plump tears rushing down my cheeks.

I lean against the cupboard, an slowly slide to the ground placing my face within my hands.

Why should I even be crying over him?

Why?

I clearly didn't mean anything to him.

Nothing.

So, why did I let him mean so much to me?

He shouldn't mean shit to me, because he just kept playing me.

Using me.

He so much of a coward he couldn't even answer my phone call, and tell me that. Instead of writing it on a fucking sheet of paper.

No.

He was to caught up in his ego to explain to a 17 year old girl why he took her virginity and left her.

For lord's sake I could be pregnant, we didn't even use a condom!

Although I had started on birth control a few weeks before.

I raised my shirt to my eyes and dried my sticky tears.

He didn't deserve them.

××

Waking up alone was the worst feeling in the world.

And grasping at air was even worse.

But being without Harry was a relief, knowing that I didn't have to get broken like all his promises he made.

Remembering all the lies he had told made me even more pissed- not pissed. More of a resentment.

Why couldn't he just have left and not have came in.

And in my house.

Speaking of my house, my parents had been gone since a few months ago.

I had no calls from them what so ever.

Just another set of people who didn't care-

Knocking begins to echo from the window across from my bed.

I open my eyes, and they quickly adjust to the light as I peel back my sheets.

As my feet hit the floor, I tiptoe to the window slowly a bit scared to look.

I pushed back the curtains suddenly, being greeted my a oh so familiar face..