Guarding Hearts | •J.B•

Fifty.

-Justin's POV-

The next couple of days dragged on just like the days at work. My family came over to visit seeming that they are still here and don't know when to go home.

I was glad that they visited but I was kind of out of it.

I'm guessing my mom peeped it because she was asking was I okay. Of course, I couldn't tell the honest God truth so I just told her I was feeling sick. She started to feel my head, my neck and I told her that I would be okay.

Dad took that as a warning that it was time for them to go. Mom told me to call her when things got better and told me to eat some soup and drink some ginger ale. I agreed and they left.

Now it was currently nine p.m. and I was now getting off of work. I was now driving my way home. Pulling up and parking into the driveway, I collected my things and closed the door behind me.

I grabbed the house key, inserted it into the lock and turned it. The door opened. I went inside and closed and locked the door behind me, kicking off my shoes.

I sighed.

All I needed was a good night's sleep. I'm so thankful I don't have work tomorrow.

So sleeping all day it is tomorrow.

I walked down the hall to my room and turned on the lights.

"Ahhh!"

"Uhm, hi."

Putting my hand down from after I clutched my chest, I tried to calm down my breathing.

"Kacey what are you doing here? You are supposed to be at home resting," I said.

Kacey was sitting down on my bed. She was sitting in complete darkness before I turned on the lights.

I saw here stomach poking out and I mentally aww'd at the sight. She was so adorable.

"I really need to talk to you. Sorry for coming unannounced but this was something I really needed to do," she said.

Giving her a confused look, I waited for her to continue. "Well aren't you going to sit?"

"Oh. Yea," I said.

I walked over to her and cautiously sat down beside her but gave her some space as well. I didn't want to anger her.

We sat down in silence just looking at each other while the other wasn't looking, looking at everything else that seemed interesting in the room. We were basically avoiding eye contact with each other.

"Look Justin, what happened months ago. I -,"

She stopped for a second and closed her eyes. Then, she looked at me.

"I just want to know why. How could you do that to me?"

I knew she was going to ask that.

The big Why?

I dreamed of her asking this a thousand times and I still couldn't seem to find the right answer. I couldn't find the right words to tell her.

Biting down on my lip, I thought for a minute before speaking.

"Kacey. That day was a huge mistake. A mistake that cost me the best thing that has happened to me," I explained to her. And I meant it.

"Yea but why? I know you're sorry Justin. I just want to know what were you thinking."

The room got hotter and I realized that was probably due to my jacket still being on and my tie. I unbuttoned my jacket and peeled it off of me. I unloosed my tie and took that off as well.

I threw both items on the floor, reminding myself to pick it up later.

"Kacey, I wasn't thinking that's what I'm saying. I thought that Hailey still meant a something to me but .. she didn't. She doesn't. I never meant nor wanted to hurt you."

Kacey licked her lips and then looked down at her stomach.

"I would love to know exactly what happened but I'll be lying if I would say that I could sit still and actually listen to your story without hitting you," Kacey began.

I wouldn't blame her. Everything that she had done for the past months would be something that I would have done as well. I couldn't imagine how bad I hurt her and I still haven't forgiven myself.

"You made me feel so unworthy of you. Like I was something that you got bored of and I felt you never loved me Justin," she spoke.

"No. Kacey I never -"

"I know! You didn't mean to but you did. I question myself every night was I good enough. Am I good enough?"

Kacey was now crying and I reached my hands up, catching them before they could fall. "Kacey-"

"Justin I love you so much. In ways you can never explain but you hurt me so fucking bad. I still feel it. Months went by and the sound is not as fresh as it once was but it's still there."

"Kacey. Baby I know there are as not many as sorry's in this world that can fix what I caused but if I can take it all back, I could and I would."

Kacey eyes were glassy due to all the crying she was doing and this image will forever be embedded in my brain.

I lost my best friend.

My lover.

My fiancé.

All in a moment caught up over lust. Over some girl that I thought that I still had feelings over. I laughed at the thought. God, please save Kacey for me.

If you give me this one wish, I would do everything better. I promise I will.

"Do you still love me?"

I looked at Kacey and in those gorgeous brown eyes that made me feel weak to my knees. Those same brown eyes that I fell in love with and will always be in love with.

You know what's funny?

I took her for granted. I took everything for granted. I never knew what I had before she left. I mean I knew but I didn't exactly know how deeply she had an effect on my life.

But now I do know.

"I have and will always love you."

~~~~~

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