My Thoughts On Paper

Seventeenth Poem: Why

Why

Why do I do this to myself

I'm running out of time

I can feel it now

I hate my heart

In this moment

How dare you ache for someone

That was never yours

And my mind is an idiot

For thinking of him

All the time

I'm shaking

Like a leaf

And I feel woozy

Talking to you

I can't think straight

Pain

That I shouldn't be feeling

Cause you aren't mine

You never were

You never will be

I'm being stupid

I know

I want to vent

But who to vent to?

I don't wanna feel this

But with every laugh

With every smile

I can't control my heart anymore

She comes

I get mad

She talks to you

My heart aches again

You keep laughing at what she's saying

And I can't keep from shaking

What's wrong with me

Every moment I lose control

It's getting harder and harder

To keep to myself

I am so used to keeping to myself

Keeping my emotions in check

But now I'm boiling over

and I don't know what to do

Oh save me

Save me if you can

I'm going over the edge

I hate this

I hate you

But I can't help but fall

Like gravity has me

I'm so done

I'm so done

I'm so done

Leave me be

Oh why