My Thoughts On Paper

Sixtieth Poem: Couldn't you have stayed?

I guess it really is true 

It is not some sick joke forced upon me 

You really are gone 

I didn't know you well 

Yet the tears still slide down my face 

We all wear black 

We all grieve you as your body now lies underground 

I really wanted you to see 

Me, dressed in white 

Something new 

Something old 

Something borrowed 

Something blue 

I never thought I wanted you there 

It never crossed my mind 

Now that you are gone 

You were the only person I know I'll miss 

In my graduation 

You took by the arms 

Told me you were proud 

To keep going 

I brushed it off 

Not wanting to overthink it 

Now your words 

Are the only thing I hear 

I saw you yesterday 

Walking in when I was walking out 

Turns out 

It was someone else 

I thought I saw you 

But now you are gone 

Every step I take now 

I feel you 

I know you are probably watching 

Your actual daughters and sons 

I know I was not that special

I know you barely thought of me 

But as I walk I feel you there 

Right beside me 

You take my hand 

You let me cry 

Listening to sad music 

As your face still lingers in my mind 

Afraid to cry 

I don't deserve to cry 

For I never said goodbye 

I wish I had more time 

To tell you I'm sorry 

To tell you I love you 

To tell you goodbye 

You really are gone 

I don't want to go 

Knowing you are already passed 

That you're with God now 

But I want you back 

Looking back I am not ready 

For you to go 

Couldn't you have stayed? 

Couldn't you have stayed?