Until My Last Breath

Chapter 36

Rose's POV:
I wake up with huge headache. Groaning, I press my head into my pillow, letting out a sigh. What the hell was I thinking? I never drank more than a sip of alcohol before and yesterday I drank like four glasses?

God, I'm so stupid. How did I even get back into my bed? Wait that's my bed right? My eyes widen as I quickly sit up, noticing that I'm in my hotel room but immediately regretting it since my head starts to pound even harder.

Breathing out heavily I try my best to stand up, strolling into the bathroom. "Oh my god." I mumble, looking at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is a mess and I have dark circles under my eyes" I'm never going to drink again." I say, splashing water onto my tired face.

I reach over to the drawer taking my pills and chugging down a glass of water, before tying my hair into a ponytail. I grab my black jeans from yesterday and a white hoodie, slipping them on before making sure that I apply enough concealer.

After I'm finished I walk out sitting into my bed. What happened yesterday? I only remember this guy. Jack or Jake? Something like that. I hope I didn't com here with him... but I gad my clothes on. I probably walked back alone.

„Good Morning!" I suddenly hear someone cheer, coming through the door. "Shut up." I grumble, holding my head as I see Geoff walking towards me. "I see you are in the best mood. Just like Shawn." He chuckles, leaning against the door frame.

„Mhm. What do you want?" "We are going out for breakfast. Wanna come with us? Maybe you'll be in a better mood then." "Yes I'm starving." I reply, putting on my shoes before grabbing a jacket. "So what were you doing yesterday?" Geoff grins, nudging my arm.

"Why are you looking like that?" I question, furrowing my eyebrows. "Well like I said, you and Shawn seem to have a bit of a hangover." He chuckles. "Well, I don't know where he was. I haven't talked to him in like five days." "Don't take that personal. He's a bit off lately." Geoff says.

„Don't take it personal? First why would I and second why are you always trying to talk him good to me?" I ask, as we approach the others. "It's just that he-"

„There you are guys. Let's go." Mike says, patting his stomach. I see how Andrew and Geoff look at each other before letting their eyes flicker between me and Shawn. What is wrong with them? He ignored me since days, what's different now?

My gaze falls also onto Shawn who stands there scrolling through his phone, black sunglasses shielding his eyes. "Earth to Shawn. We are going." Zubin laughs, as we make our way outside. He doesn't even give me a glance as he walks past me. So what's the deal now?

I sigh, deciding to talk to Andrew. Maybe there's a clue where Nathan could be. "Hey Andrew." I say, walking next to him. "Hello Rose. How's your wrist?" He asks, giving me a light smile. "It hurts a bit when someone touches it but it's fine." I reply.

„That's good. I guess I know what you want to talk about but I'm so sorry to tell you that there are still not any news. It's like he disappeared. I'm so sorry Rose." Andrew explains, sighing.

"Oh..." I mumble, keeping my gaze on my shoes. So is it really going to be like that? I has so much hope on the first day I went on tour with them but now my hope is fading everyday.

What am I gonna do if we never find my brother? That would mean I lost him completely but how can someone just be never found again?

„I promise you Rose. I'm really trying to find him. I can even let you talk with the detective if you want." "No I believe you I just don't understand-" I start to say but my voice cracks. "We'll not stop looking okey? Don't give up hope." Andrew says, pulling me into a hug.

"Thank you." I mumble, biting my lip to hold back the tears. Fortunately we were walking behind the others, so they didn't notice. I'm not gonna cry now. It's going to be fine.

But what if not? Am I actually going to end it then? Maybe I don't even have to. Who knows how long my heart is going to work anyways. I pull back from the hug turning to walk again.

As I look up I see Shawn gazing into my direction. He took his sunglasses off, his eyebrows furrowed but as he sees me looking back he quickly follows the others into a little restaurant.

I know I said it like a hundred times already but I just don't get this boy. Well, who cares... I would actually rather just be in my hotel room now. Probably crying my eyes out. I know that's so pathetic.

I just feel like nothing but sleeping right bu that would also mean I'm gonna have a nightmare, waking up to hurt myself so the voices go away. So eating breakfast is probably the better option.

We sit down at the table, Shawn on the opposite if me and Geoff next to me. I look out of the window, sometimes just listening to the conversations if the others. It's funny how they talk like 18 year olds sometimes.

„Hey what's wrong with you two?" Mike suddenly asks, patting Shawn shoulder who is focused on his phone before he looks over to me.

I could see Andrew glare at him but he doesn't notice. "I'm just a bit tired." I shrug and Shawn nods. "Me too." He mumbles. Mike opens his mouth to say something but the waiter interrupts him. Thank god. I ordered pancakes like always but I'm actually not really hungry.

The food arrives and I take a fee bites so the others don't start to ask questions again. "Are you coming with us to the rehearsals, Rose?" Geoff questions. "I can't. I actually have to study and I should do that if I want to pass." "Poor you. I'm. so glad not to be in school anymore." He chuckles, ruffling my hair.

„Can I talk to you for a second?" I look up to see Shawn looking at me. Oh look who talks to me again. "Okey." I say standing up from my chair. We walk outside and I bump into Shawn has he suddenly stops in front of me. "Sorry." I say, stepping a bit back from him. "How's your wrist?"

"Why are you asking me that now? You didn't seem to care the last few days either." I respond, raising my eyebrow. "So what? Do I have to talk to you everyday?" Shawn questions, starting to get annoyed.

"Well, if you only want to talk to me to be a jerk again then leave it. My wrist is fine."
I say, turning to walk back in but Shawn grabs me arm preventing me from going. "I can help you study as an apology." He says, standing again way too near to me.

„No thanks. You would just be a distraction and no help." "Because you find me so utterly attractive? I'm sorry for being so hot." Shawn replies, running a hand through his hair ever so slowly. I can't help but chuckle, crossing my arms. "No I don't think that."

„Oh really? You seemed to enjoy seeing me without a shirt in the gym back then." He grins, causing my cheeks to flush. "I'm sorry Mendes but I think the few brain cells that you have don't work anymore." I tease.

„Haha. Stop trying to deny it baby. See you around three." He says, before just walking past me back into the restaurant. "I told you I don't want your help." I call after him but he ignores it. Oh great.

Shawn's POV:
I turn the music a bit up, humming along the song in the radio. "So still don't remember what happened last night?" "Nope." I say. "Oh okey." Geoff replies, grinning at me slightly. Why do I still go into a car with him?

„What are you trying to tell me?" I sigh, looking over to him. An amused expression takes place on his face. "I actually shouldn't be smiling but oh well. How's Grace?" "Good." I reply, furrowing my eyebrows.

„Cool. When is she coming back on tour?" "In a few days. Why are you asking?" I question. "Do you miss her?" "What do you want Geoff?" I ask, rolling my eyes. Note to myself: Never be alone in a car with him again. "You didn't answer my question." He states.

„You didn't answer mine aswell." "So you don't miss her." Geoff says, glancing  at me quickly. "I do..." I say, clearing my throat. I don't even know... I guess she loves me way more than she should.

„So are you finally going to tell me why you keep asking me about yesterday?" "I don't think you wanna know." Geoff grins, making me groan annoyed. "Oh my god just tell me."