Until My Last Breath

Chapter 120

Rose's POV:
My heart literally skips a beat as he reaches for his pocket, pulling a black velvet box out of it. „Shawn." I breath out, completely overwhelmed with the situation. He can't be serious, can he?

„Listen, you probably think it's not the right time with all the stuff going on but maybe that's exactly what makes it right. I know that I'm willing to do everything to make you and our baby happy for the rest of my life.

I don't know about you but I don't ever want someone else by my side. You have my whole heart, Rose." Shawn says, taking my hand in his.

„I don't want to be with anyone else too, but..."

„It's soon, I know that but I love you and then I just thought why not now?" He chuckles, opening the box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. Not too attention catching but still really gorgeous.

„Princess, will you marry me?" He questions while he stares lovingly into my eyes. I could see hope sparkling in his orbs, making me feel even more guilty for what I'm about to say.

„Shawn, I'm sorry but...no." I respond, holding back tears as I see his face fall. I just can't. Not now. Not when I have to be scared that any day, there's the possibility of me not waking up anymore. „I-I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice cracking unwillingly.

Quickly, I climb out of the car and walk away from it, not being able to face him right now. He looked so hurt but how could he think I would say yes? He should have talked to me about it.

Tears trickle down my cheek as I sit down on a rock at the shore of the beach. This is all too much. We were completely okey and now... I can't imagine how it must feel to get a proposal rejected.... but I couldn't say yes. Not because I don't want to marry Shawn.

I actually fantasized about it a few times already but not now. I don't think it's the right time, unlike him. I don't want to say yes when I don't know how long I have left. He probably also wanted to marry as fast as possible. But what for? Only to loose his wife and not his girlfriend? I don't see an advantage in it.

Sniffling, I wipe away the tears and stare onto the wide ocean. Some last sun rays creating a golden color in the sky. A sigh leaves my lips as I glance back to the car, guilt immediately rushing through my body.

Did I just ruin everything we had? What if he can't look at me the same anymore now? F*ck... what have I done?

.............................................................................

Shawn's POV:
Dumbfounded, I still stare at the spot she sat before like half an hour. I don't really know how to feel... I mean, she said no. I asked the girl I love to marry me and she doesn't want to. Wow. I was actually sure that she would say yes...

Should I feel heartbroken? No... it's not the end of our relationship. We wouldn't let a proposal ruin what we have, right? I still have to admit that it hurt how she just said no and walked away.

I guess, it was very surprising but was it such a bad surprise that she can't even be near me? Sighing, I glance down at the ring. She doesn't wear jewelry often, so I decided to buy a simple ring that's still beautiful. Maybe she didn't like it....

God, what am I saying? She wouldn't react like that because of the ring. What now? Should I give her some space or go and look for her?

Pressing my lips together, I reach for my phone and click onto someone's contact name who always seems to know what's better for us. It rings a few times until he picks up. "Hey man, what's up? I thought no phones allowed during the trip?"

„Hey Geoff, uhm... I know but I need to ask you something." I reply, stroking my hand through my hair. "According to how you sound, it's not something good. What did you do this time?" Geoff chuckles, probably trying to lighten up the mood but soon his laughter dies down in realization what I might mean.