Until My Last Breath

Chapter 102

Shawn's POV:
„I don't know... I searched through her whole bathroom, closet and all the drawers but there is nothing!" I sigh, looking at the mess I made in her entire room.

„Maybe because there is nothing, Shawn. Actually, why do you think she cuts again?" Geoff questions.

„Because she was acting so weird that night in Tokyo and she wouldn't let me look into that one make up bag but there isn't even something in there but make up" I reply as I trap the phone between my shoulder to search once again under her bed for any kind of box where she could have razor blades or something.

„But Shawn, if she really did it, you would notice. Just look at her wrists."

„Well, I already did that but if she started to do it again, she wouldn't do it on her wrist." Sighing defeatedly, I plop down on her bed letting my back fall onto the soft mattress.

„What about you two do the thing that seems really hard for both of you? Uhm... how is it called? Oh yeah, talking!" He exclaims sarcastically and I roll my eyes, even though I know he can't see me.

„Haha. I will do that... I just don't think she would tell me. I'm so worried. Maybe her sickness is getting too much for her?" „I know that it's not easy for any of you but please just talk to her. I'm sure she will tell you the truth."
Geoff reassures and I sigh again.

„Yeah..." I mumble, catching a glimpse of a picture, which is lying on her nightstand. Taking the picture, I examine it wondering why it looks so familiar to me.

A wide smile appears on my face as I notice that it's the picture Josiah made of us as we announced our "relationship" at the start of tour. God, I can't believe how many things have changed in these past months. I'm moving in with the girl I thought I hated. Crazy, isn't it?
But I wouldn't want it any other way.

The smile fades immediately as I spot the hospital papers on her desk. „Shawn are you still there?" Geoff questions, pulling me out of my thoughts. „Yeah yeah uhm...Geoff?"

„Yes?"

Sighing, I sit up while looking at the printed out words in front of me. „I talked to some doctors and there is no chance of getting her a heart transplant sooner. She has to wait... but what if-"

"Shawn, I don't want to hear it, okey? Stop thinking that way. It's going to be fine, trust me. Or do you really think a disease will defeat someone as stubborn as Rose?" Geoff asks but I just shrug. "You can't-"

„Yes, I will today Grandma. I already packed most of my stuff." I suddenly hear an all too familiar voice call. Rose's voice. My eyes widen as I hear her footsteps nearing her room. I thought I was supposed to get her from the mall?!

„F*ck." I curse, shoving my phone back into my jeans pocket after I ended the call. What do I do? Hide? Yeah of course and this mess happened on its own.

Hastily I close some drawers and pick up som things, stuffing them into her wardrobe. And now? It's no use anyways....I let out a deep breath as I remember what Geoff told me and that's what I am gonna do now. Talk. There's no way around it anyways.

A few seconds later the door swings open, revealing my beautiful girlfriend with red and puffy eyes. A frown appears on my face and she mimics my actions as sees me standing there. Rose's gaze wanders from me to all the stuff scattered on the bed before she raises her eyebrow.

"What are you doing here?"

„What happened?" I ask approaching her quickly, my hands cupping her tear stained chees. „Don't ignore my question. What the hell are you doing here?" She repeats and quickly steps away from me, my hand loosing the connection to her skin.