Until My Last Breath

Chapter 70

Rose's POV: 
"So... I have Harry Potter, The Fault In Our Stars and The Hunger-games. What are you in the mood for?" Carter asks, as he returns with the stack of movies.

I shrug, watching as he turns on his laptop. "You can decide." "Okey, then Hunger Games it is." He replies, popping open the DVD case. "Carter?" I question, fumbling with the sleeve ends of my hoodie.

"Yeah?" He turns his head eyeing me with a frown on his face. "Do you..." I start, coughing to cover up my voice crack. "Do you think I'm a bad daughter?" I finish, chewing on my inner cheek. "What makes you think that?"

"I haven't been there once since the... accident. I never brought flowers there or at least visited them." I respond , finally saying out loud what has been like a weight on my chest for weeks now.

While I was on tour I had an excuse not to go there but now... I have the chance go but I don't know if I want to... "You have never been at the graveyard? But you always told me you would rather go alone when I offered to accompany you." He says rather surprised which makes me feel even more guilty.

"Y-yeah but... I lied.  I never went there I just didn't want anyone to know. I feel so bad about it." I sigh, burying my head in my knees. "Hey Rose." He coos, his hand gliding over my hand gently.

"Listen, you are not a bad daughter just because of that. It's understandable that you didn't want to go there but if you feel better afterwards, it's never to late you know. You parents would never condemn you for that.

Trust me, they love you and they know that you love them." Carter says, giving me a reassuring smile. "Okey." I breath out, standing up after taking the covers off me. "What are you doing?" He questions confused.

"I'm visiting them. This time really." "Rose can't that wait till tomorrow? It could start to storm again any moment."

"I felt guilty about it for the longest time so no, it cannot wait. I will be fine. I have my phone with me if anything happens."

"Can I come with you? I'll drive and stay in the car if you want." "Thank you." I nod, heading outside with him following behind. The car ride was silent but it wasn't a weird silence.

Carter just knew that I'm not in the mood to talk about anything. "Let me out there. I'll walk the rest." I say, pointing to the gate of the cemetery. Carter smiles lightly before I kiss his cheek, then opening the car door.

Exhaling deeply I walk past the gate and all the different tombstones, searching for the right one. My legs start to feel wobbly as I read name after name, every one of them a loved one who passed away.

My eyes catch one without any flowers, pictures or candles around it. My heart immediately sinks into my stomach as I approach it, the names John and Anastasia Anderson craved into the smooth surface of the stone.

Gulping, I kneel down tracing the curved letters. "I'm sorry that I've never been here. I miss you." I whisper, letting my eyes wander over all the decorations of the other tombstones while this one is nothing but blank.

I take out a slightly crumbled laminated family picture of all four of us out of the pocket of my jacket and place it on the ground in front of it.

Two small stone on the corners to secure it. Examining the picture I just kneel there, my mind taking me back to the beautiful memories even though they were working much.
But still they always managed to make time for me and Nathan.

"The only thing missing are flowers." I hear someone say and the voice alone causes shiver to run down my spine.

"Why are you here?" I ask coldly, standing up but not turning around. Shawn says nothing, crouching down the place the white and purple lilies next to the picture.