Until My Last Breath

Chapter 40

Rose's POV:
"The pictures are of her and not Grace right?" I ask, immediately regretting it since it wasn't really the best moment to say something like that.

„Yeah...I don't even know why I still have them. I just thought it would be a good memory." Shawn answers, shrugging. I nod, sipping the last bit of my chocolate milk to keep my way too curious mouth shut.

"Does that mean you are going to continue being an asshole or does that stop now?" I ask, after a while of silence. Great Rose. What did you just say about stupid questions?

„You are really compassionate to others." Shawn replies but I could see a small smile on his lips due the shining of the moon. "Yeah... I'm really sorry for you but I'm just not used that version of you." I say. "What version?" Shawn questions, leaning back onto his hands, as he looks at me.

„A you, who actually has feelings." I reply, chuckling slightly. Shawn smiles, before averting his eyes back to the water. "So are we good?" He asks. "Yeah we are good." I respond, slipping my hand out from under his, to pull my jacket closer to me.

.............................................................................

I sigh, leaning my head against the plane window as I think about the talk Shawn and I had yesterday. I don't know what to think about him anymore.

At least I know now why he was like that all the time. He was afraid to fall in love with me. Shawn Mendes. Wow I'm feeling honored. I chuckle quietly, closing my eyes as I listen to my favourite playlist. I wonder if he really means that 'we are good'. So are we like... friends?

Okey no... maybe just people who know each other because of stupid circumstances. Yeah that fits better. „Earth to Rose. We are here." Geoff chuckles, waving his hand in front of me as I notice that we arrived at the airport in Barcelona.

I stretch myself after letting out a yawn. „Mhm." I mumble, taking my bag, following the others out. Andrew and Shawn should be already here. They went sooner to do something important.

We walk towards the gate where the two of them are standing. About twenty fans surrounding them. A weird feeling comes up in me as Shawn's gaze meets mine. A small smile appears on his lips, causing me to smile back.

Okey... maybe I need to throw up or something? That's probably the feeling... "Hey hunny." Shawn greets me, pulling me into a side hug whike placing a kiss on my temple. "Awww's" erupt from the girls around us, causing my cheeks to heat up.

„H-hey" I chuckle, before patiently waiting next to him as he takes pictures with them. He probably just smiled at me because the fans were there.. but uh... who cares? "Shawn, what is your favorite thing about Rose. Be a bit romantic." A girl asks, causing the others and Shawn to laugh.

His eyes meet mine and his smile grows a bit bigger. "Well, where do I start... I can't choose one specific thing but I'm really fascinated by her eyes and how she can be so caring for everyone-" "Okey thanks. Don't start a speech now." The girl says, causing Shawn to chuckle again as he breaks the intense stare he had.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Did he mean that? Was that all just acting? Why do I even want to know? "You forgot that she is beautiful." A little, maybe 5-year old girl says. I smile down at her as she looks up to Shawn shyly.

„Of course I didn't forget that but I'm afraid, if I tell everyone how beautiful she really is, inside and out, other guys would fall in love with her too. So shhh." Shawn says after kneeling down to her. "

Awww's" become audible again and normally I would throw up from all the cheesy stuff but right now... no no. I still want to throw up. It's not like he means anything of that. Is it hot here? Oh right, we are in Spain but it's winter...

I sigh, waiting for him to finish taking pictures before we are lead away from his bodyguard. Shawn takes me hand and for a moment a don't want to let go... just for a moment.

As I see the others waiting for us I slip my hand out of his. Without saying a word I walk past them and sit in the car. I don't know how to act.

Sighing, I rub my forehead. Hating him was much easier. A knock on the window makes me look up to Shawn who's standing in front of the window. I raise my eyebrows giving him a questioning look as he motions me to open the door.

I then realize that on the other backseat are bags and stuff so I guess I have to sit in the middle. Great. I finally start to move and Shawn sits down next to me, pulling the door close. His leg is touching mine and I awkwardly sit there, tapping my foot on the floor.

Does he also feel weird or is that just me? Suddenly Shawn chuckles, causing me to look up at him. He's still taller than me even though we are sitting. „What?" I ask. „It's just funny that you don't have anything to say when you can't say something mean." he replies, winking jokingly.

I just roll my eyes. „Don't provoke me being mad at you Mendes." „Why? It looks so cute though. When your face is all read." Shawn whispers, leaning closely to my ear.

Geoff and Andrew where are you? I turn my head, then realizing that he still hasn't moved away. Our faces only a few inches away from mine, his breath meeting my lips.

I open my mouth to say something but I suddenly can't seem to get a word out anymore. Shawn grins, slowly looking forward again as the doors open, Geoff and Andrew climbing into the car.

A soft sigh escapes me, as I curse myself for finding those lips of him so attractive. He cheated on his girlfriend more than once, remember that Rose. ‚But he also loved a girl so much that it broke his heart into a million pieces.' My inner voice tells me.

Yeah sometimes I speak to myself okey? The voice just always tries to know everything better than me. It's still a fact that he cheated on her. ‚So would you say no, if he wanted to kiss you? Huh?' The voice asks in a mocking tone.

Oh my god I thought I got over that. ‚Nope I was always here. Just thought I would give you a break'

Okey I'll just listen to music or something before I actually start talking out loud. I keep my headphones in for the rest of the car ride, blocking everything out like I normally do until we finally arrive at the hotel.

I get out, following them in behind Shawn and of course I have to overlook the glass door which falls close after him. I hit my head, a bang becoming audible, causing him to turn around.

His eyes widen in surprise before he quickly opens the door for me so I could step in, holding my head. „Rose I'm sorry. I didn't see you there." He says, placing his hand top of my forehead worriedly but I could see how much he tries not to laugh.

„It's fine." I say, swatting his hand away. „Oh come on. Are you mad now?" Shawn questions as I walk past him. „No I'm not Shawn." "Rosie-" "Shawn!" a too well known voice suddenly shouts.

„Hey babe." Shawn says, catching Grace in his arms as he jumps onto him. She pulls back attacking his lips and face with kisses. I roll my eyes, starting to walk to the others.

"I missed you so much baby." Grace squeaks and Shawn says it back. He sets her down and she kissed him passionately. 'Why are you watching them like a creep. Did you think Grace would just disappear?' My lovely inner voice reminds me.

I shake my head, joining the conversation about what we have to do today so I stop looking at the "adorbale" couple over there. I don't know why I get this weird feeling when Grace kisses and hugs him. Maybe I'm just getting sick again. "Rose?" "Hm?" I murmur, Andrew's gaze meeting mine.

„We are going to the beach today since the concert is tomorrow. If you wanna come with us all be down here around four." Andrew smiles before, heading to his room along with the others. Does all include Shawn? And if yes that does also mean Grace won't come with us? Not that I care...