Until My Last Breath

Chapter 71

Rose's POV:
My heart stops beating for a second after he finished his sentence. „What? Why are you looking at me like that now? Isn't it what you want?" he chuckles drily, as he moves his wet strands from his forehead once again.

Now it's my turn to stand there, mouth agape but not one single word of the millions racing trough my mind comes out. His face suddenly seemed so cold but I knew that he only did that to keep himself from getting hurt.

I saw how broken he was before even if he only showed it once. He acts hard to get to so I give in but I won't. I'm sick of people treating me like I can't handle a serious situation.

Keeping these secrets from me to ‚protect me' how all of them say. „How can you ask me if I still want us now huh?" I sigh, grasping onto my jacket covered arms.

"How can you say you don't know yet? It's not that hard to decide! Just f*cking tell me what you want." Shawn replies, his voice raised which makes me even more angry but I contain myself. „I do want us Shawn..."

"But?" „But it also hurts just when I look at you. Why don't you understand? I trusted you. I f*cking trusted you more anyone else even though I don't know you that long and you... you kept the one person from me, I searched for so long." I say, too weak to scream at him.

I just want it to be like it was before...

"As stupid as it sounds Shawn, I thought you would never hurt me." I chuckle sadly, looking up to him and his eyes don't seem cold anymore.

They are back to their hazel brown which normally always calms me. Instead of answering he just hangs his head low, nodding slightly.

We stay silent for a minute, him just as clueless what to say as me. I watch the raindrops from my hair, drop to the wet ground as I decide it's better if I go. „Alright. Have fun on tour Shawn." I say quietly, glancing into his eyes once more before turning to walk back to the car.

For a few moments I couldn't hear anything, making me think he is just letting me go like that. ‚Why do you care? You are the one who said you don't want to be near him.' My lovely inner voice mocks.

I ignore it not understanding my own thoughts anymore but relief washes over me as I hear him call out my name. I turn around to see him running towards me, his hands cup my cheeks as soon as he comes to a stop and his lips immediately connect with mine.

First I only hear my head yelling at me to pull back but then I could only feel my heart longing for this so I kiss him back. Grabbing onto his drenched white shirt. His forehead rests on mine for a moment, making me even more confused.

Once he moved his head to look at me he leans towards my ear. „I love you." He kisses my cheek gently, causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach as he pulls back to look at me. „I don't want to loose you Rose." he says while shaking his head, smiling sadly. „Shawn-."

„No,please don't say anything." he replies cutting me off. „I have to be at the airport around seven tomorrow evening. You need time to think, I get that.

So please think about it till tomorrow and if you want to join me back on tour, come to my hotel room half an hour earlier. I'll text you the  adresse." He says and I hesitantly nod. „I should go now."

„Where are you staying?" „With Carter." I respond, clearing my throat. I know that he doesn't really like the idea of it. His fists ball as he looks at me with pinched eyes, his jaw clenching.

„Did you make up?" he asks. „Yeah... I say, biting my lip nervously. Shawn just nods, shoving his head into his jeans pocket. „Okey uhm... bye." I say, turning around to walk away.