Until My Last Breath

Chapter 101

Rose's POV:
"Hey babe, are you still with Ava?" Shawn asks right after I picked up his call. "Yeah, I am. Why?"

„My mom was wondering if we want to come over for dinner later. Is that okey with you?"

"Sure. We will be finished soon anyways." I reply, fumbling with the end of my shirt. "Great. Did you find something you like?"

„Oh uh... actually we were just looking for a dress for Ava. So I didn't really pay attention." I answer, earning a quick glare from her before she focuses back on the road. I know, I know... I shouldn't lie to him but I will tell him as soon as I know for sure wether I am pregnant or not. I swear...

„Also my dresser is about to explode from all the stuff you got me on tour." I chuckle, hoping to overplay the nervousness lacing in my voice as we near a white building. "I just love to give you presents." Shawn responds, laughing lightly and I shake my head.

„And that's so sweet but you buy me way too much." I state, realizing that he cannot see it. "Too bad that you won't be able to change my mind, princess. Oh and... you won't have space problems with your clothes anymore because when you are moving in tomorrow, the new walk-in wardrobe will be all yours."

„Are you serious right now? Oh my... How is that even possible?"

„I had an extra room, which I didn't need and that is yours now. I expected more enthusiasm, to be honest." He says and I could literally picture him with this adorable pout on his handsome face. "Shawn, I am excited about it. I really am. Wow I never thought about something like that. Thank you, baby." I chuckle, torn between being happy about it and also mad because he spent his money on me again... but oh well, who doesn't want a walk-in wardrobe?

„Better." Shawn replies, jokingly. "Alright, we are going into two or three more shops. See you then." I say as I notice that Ava parked the car."

"Okey, I'll pick you up at yours later." He responds before I hang up, suddenly not being able to concentrate on anything but the big building in front of me anymore.

„Rose, is everything okey?" Ava questions and I just give her an 'are you serious' look.

„No, nothing is okey! I might be pregnant, I don't know how Shawn is going to react and I am terrified. So no it's not okey! „

„Yeah stupid question. Sorry." She mumbles but I just bite my tounge to not let my overwhelmed self take control over my actions and start to snap at her for no reason. I should be thankful that she is here with me.

„Let's go?" Ava asks, placing her hand on top of my arm, causing me to look at her for the first time since we are here. "You think I'm stupid for believing that the one negative test means something, don't you?" I ask, meeting her concerned gaze.

„I..." she starts but cuts herself off by frustratedly running a hand through her hair. "Look, if you want my honest opinion... I don't think there is much of a chance that the negative one is right but... let's just get you checked now, okey?"

„Okey." I sigh loudly, opening the car door.

.............................................................................

My leg bounces up and down restlessly as I stare at a certain spot, on the white tiled floor. The noises around me sounding dull. My fingers shaking lightly.

Little do I know that Ava is right but something in me refuses to accept that. I just don't want to imagine how Shawn would react. Is there a chance that he would be happy about it?

What am I thinking.... it's the worst timing there can be, for a baby. He has to concentrate on his new album and the festivals he is gonna play. There is no time for a child. Also I don't even know if I want.... if I am able to be a mother. I don't think I would be a good mom...