Back to me

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I lie on the rock from my and Ondreaz's first date and look to the side. Ondreaz is lying next to me and looking into my eyes. He smiles. "You know I'm just trying to protect you" suddenly we're in college, everyone around us is frozen. We run through the hallways and Ondreaz takes me in his arms. "I love you" before he puts his lips on mine, I wake up. I take a deep breath before I lie down again. Piper's not here anymore and everything is dark and quiet. Tears come to my eyes as I think back to the dream. Now that I can't sleep anyway, I sneak out of the room with my laptop.

Arriving on the terrace, I look at the glittering surface of the sea in the distance. Damn it, why can't I just forget about Ondreaz? I miss him and every time I think of him my heart contracts. I want him back...

I open my laptop and I start typing. What I wouldn't give to be in his arms right now. I don't know how long I sit there writing, but suddenly Kyan sits down next to me. "hey, aren't you cold?" I shake my head. "what are you doing here so early in the morning?" "I had a bad dream" I swallow to avoid breaking down in tears again. "Ondreaz?" I nod. Kyan puts his arm around me and holds me close. "Oh, Nike, if I could, I would gladly take the pain away from you" I smile gratefully at him. "Have you written another song?" I nod and slip him my laptop. He reads it carefully. "Shall we set it to music right away? I have another instrumental that might fit" I nod. "good, let's go downstairs" he puts his arm around me and walks with me into the recording room. When we have adjusted everything, I stand in front of the microphone. Kyan gives me a sign and I start singing.

It was a different time, long ago when the stars aligned
You laid there as you looked in my eyes
You said that you just wanted to protect me
We were frozen in time
I was yours and you were mine
Boy what we had was hard to find
I couldn't see the end
I thought that you were made for me
And now the air feels so cold, no one to hold
Is this really our destiny? I still see your eyes
Late at night, I still think about what you said to me
I, I'm feeling like I'm lost at sea
So far apart, you're still in my heart
I wish that I could bring you back to me
And I, I know you needed to be free
But nothing's okay, you're so far away
I wish that I could bring you back to me
You're doing so well, out in the world
Yeah you're finding yourself
You're moving on and I can tell
Things are going well
You're following your dreams
I wanna be fine
I wanna say what I did was right
I know I'm the one who said goodbye
But I'm still holding on
It's weighing down on me
I, I'm feeling like I'm lost at sea
So far apart, you're still in my heart
I wish that I could bring you back to me
And I, I know you needed to be free
But nothing's okay, you're so far away
I wish that I could bring you back to me
I, I'm feeling like I'm lost at sea
So far apart, you're still in my heart
I wish that I could bring you back to me
And I, I know you needed to be free
But nothing's okay, you're so far away
I wish that I could bring you back to me

Sunday goes by slowly and I'm glad when we get back to LA. My mood, however, continues to go down the drain, especially when I find Ondreaz's sweater and his necklace while cleaning up. Sighing, I put everything in a box and put it on my closet. The rest of the time I lie in bed and try to distract myself with social media. Most of the time people are posting themselves on my site on the internet and hate Alan. I also watch Ondreaz Story and TikToks regularly and every time he posts a picture of himself and the others celebrating, my heart aches a bit more. Why is he doing so well? And why does he have to put it under my nose as well? The nights I hardly sleep and most of the time I just lie in my bed.

Piper's already left for her family since it's Christmas on Friday. I'm also gonna fly to New York on Thursday and spend Christmas with my dad and brother. It's quiet in our room without Piper, which only makes my mood worse. Piper makes check calls every hour and keeps trying to cheer me up to go out, but I tell her I'm fine and I'll be back to my old self soon. I'm gonna get out my keyboard and try to play a new tune. I've been working on it for over three hours, when suddenly there's a knock at my door. Confused, because I don't expect one, I open it.

"Hey" Kouvr smiles at me. "Hey" I look at her and Alex in surprise. Since I walked out of that hype house crying, I've had nothing to do with anyone from there. "Come on in. Sorry for the mess" I let them in. "Nice place you got here" Alex smiles. "Thanks" then suddenly achieves an embarrassing silence. "Nike, the reason we're here is because of this." Alex gives me a USB flash drive. "What is it?" I accept it confused. "We had to cut you out of the videos a lot, so Thomas and I made an extra folder with footage of you on it. We wanted to give it to you for a long time, but well... something came up" Alex scratches his head nervously. "Thanks, that's sweet of you" I take them in my arms. "Can I give you something for Ondreaz?" Kouvr nods. I get the box from my closet and bring them both to the door. "We all miss you at the hype house, Nike" is the last thing Kouvr says before she leaves with Alex.

I can't get Kouvr's line out of my head and so I lie in bed crying and screaming into my pillow. Why did he have to ruin everything? I take out my laptop and listen to my keyboard instrumental. After looping it four times, I open a new note and start writing. I write until three in the morning and then walk around the dorm a few times before I write Emma at seven in the morning asking if I can release a song tonight. When I get Emma's approval, I drag myself into the shower and leave the dorm for the first time in three days. I get an UBER and drive to ColemanRecords.

There are only 7 chapters left until this story is over....
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