The Butterfly Code

40: 7 days left

October 7:

Today was good.

Today was so good.

I checked the scale.

I was losing weight.

I had been 68kg(151 lbs) when I arrived. Now I was 66kg(146lbs).

I was happy.

I am very happy.

I smiled brightly when I told Sijeon hyung.

He had given me a kiss.

I never return them.

I don't like them.

But I'm too scared to say no.

So I just let him.

Everytime, I just pretend that he isn't there.

I'm sorry Joonie.

If he knew, he'd hate me.

They'd hate me.

A slut.

Who wants a slut in their group.

Who wants to be taken care of by a whore.

An ugly whore.

No one.

Which is why they can't find out.

Because if I lose them.

I'll lose my only motivation to keep me going.

If I lost them, there would be no point in staying in such an illfated world.

If I lost them, I'd jump off the bridge that Jimin failed to die from.

I'd finish what I didn't let him to.