Along came Harry | H.S

44: Erodas Life

Tw body image and self harm

I didn't fucking understand.

How could someone as beautiful as her feel this way?

It was a few days later and I'd gone over to Erodas house to surprise her. I knew where she kept the spare key so I let myself in and put the snacks on the table. I crept upstairs but heard crying from her room. So naturally I rushed inside to see her sitting on her floor in front of her mirror crying - naked.

Eroda was so fucking beautiful . It wasn't just her beautiful face and kind personality - her body was a wonderland. I loved the way her arms fit round my waist. I loved poking her belly button - she'd squeal and blush nervously. I loved the way her small hands pressed against my cheeks. Everything about her was perfect.

But she didn't see it.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I put a hand on her bare shoulder and she flinched. I immediately let go.
"W-why do I look like this?" She whispered.
My heart instantly shattered. And I also figured that's another reason why she was always too scared to do anything sexual.
"You look beautiful baby. What are you talking about?" I asked her. I noticed she was shivering despite it being the middle of summer so I got one of my hoodies off her bed and slipped it on her. "You're freezing" I told her.
"W-why are you even dating me?" She sniffled, her glassy eyes stared up into mine.
"Because I love you" I replied.
"But I'm so ugly"

I cannot believe she just said that. I wasn't angry. Well, I kind of was but I was mostly upset. Even her name was captivating - Eroda. Had you ever met anyone with such an enchanting name?

"No you're not!" I exclaimed, wiping her tears away gently.
"Yes I am" she murmured.
"Uh no. You're really fucking not. You're the most gorgeous woman I've ever met in my entire life" I responded.
"Stop lying to me"

"Hey" I placed my hand under her chin and tiled it upwards. Her dark eyes stared deeply into my green ones, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You are the most beautiful woman on this planet. Sure, you may hate some parts of yourself but they make you who you are. Name something you don't like about yourself"
"My boobs" she blurted out. Fucking hell, I didn't expect her to say THAT.

"Right okay...all...boobs are beautiful - I live by that. But this pair is yours - you wouldn't be you without them. You were born with them they do many things for you like...when you have a baby you're going to use them to feed said baby" I knew Eroda wanted to have children one day. She was listening. "Or...when you have sex in the future. You're gonna...do stuff that involves them. Your body is so fucking beautiful Eroda and it has so many functions - and needs. And I promise you it won't always be like this"

I knew she loved Inhaler. She said she'd let me cheat on her with Josh Jenkins.

"Are they nice?" She lifted up my hoodie to expose her chest.
"They're beautiful" I replied to her, glad that she trusted me.

Eroda never cared what people thought about her. What the fuck had happened? She pulled my hoodie down and sighed.
"What's up?" I asked her.
"I just...it's just childhood trauma it's fine"

What the fuck.

"No, no baby you can talk to me. We've all been through some form of childhood trauma"
"What's yours?" She asked.
"My parents got divorced when I was eight"
"What was it like?"
"I just remember crying a lot. I was really young and it was a massive change. I get on with both my parents well though and growing up around two woman - Gemma and my mother - helped me become who I am today."

My girlfriend was biting her nails anxiously so I pulled her hand down and held it tightly.
"I got bullied in secondary school by a bunch of misogynistic boys" she told me. Ah. That explained a lot. "Got led on a lot by other men. They just wanted me for my body. A-and my Dad...he used to say things about my weight. I didn't eat properly for years...then when I went to University I got better - because I wasn't around him"
"Baby, I'm so sorry you went through all that" Eroda was always so closed off about her life. Whenever I asked she's avoid it well.
"It's fine" she replied in a small voice. I had no idea she was so vulnerable. She always put on a tough front - but it explained why she was so independent. She'd been alone for a long time that she was used to it.

"If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here" I said to her, kissing her forehead gently.
"I just...I hate this. I wish I was normal. I wish they didn't say things to me. I-I wish I'd known how to cope with it so I didn't..."
"Didn't what baby?"
"I-i'm so ashamed" she whispered.
"You don't need to be ashamed, you can tell me anything. I'm just here to support you"
"Promise?" God, she had trust issues. I couldn't believe she had hidden this all so well. I was upset she'd never told me but...how could she?

Her Dad had abused her, her brother mistreated her, she got bullied, she was blamed for a suicide that wasn't her fault, she'd been treated like an object, she was cyber bullied by my fans...I didn't blame her for being so closed off.

"I promise" I replied. Eroda sniffled before going on her phone and tapping 'Camera Roll'. She went to the 'Hidden' folder and then handed it to me - my eyes widened at what I'd just seen.

Pictures and pictures of scars up and down her beautiful legs.

"I-i didn't show my legs for years...I couldn't" she said. "And when I finally stopped...I took pictures everyday for progress. And for when they faded" she looked down at her legs which had no scars on them anymore.
"Fuck" I whispered, tears filling my eyes.
"Harry, please don't cry" she took her phone back and turned it off.

"Baby, I fucking love you. I-i love everything about you a-and...fuck. God...please just know that I'm here for you" I was fully crying. Eroda sat there silently before picking up a hardback copy of What Katie Did and throwing it at her mirror. It shattered to pieces all over the floor.
"Problem solved"