Her Voice / han sanghyuk (#14)

Episode 62

Jooeun

I stood in front of Seungmin's room for almost 30 minutes, debating if I should come into his room and I go back to my room to take a rest. I have finally found Han Sanghyuk at last and he was even in my room earlier, I thought that he has the same thoughts as me but he didn't want me to get involved in his matters anymore and that I am just a friend to him.

Were those 5 years that I spend my time searching for him high and low for nothing? It is not like I have only started to search for him recently, I have been doing that ever since I found that he had left the country and my father banned him from going anywhere else, I have searching like a crazy woman and I have been going out on my breaks just to get another clue on Han Sanghyuk even if it is just a rumour but I was willing to risk my time for that because I missed him and I want to be with him.

Han Sanghyuk is my first love not just because I spent most of my time in high school with him but he was the first one who made me feel so comfortable with him, he might not be nice to me from the start but he decided to change himself for the better and I also got to see his most vulnerable side. He allowed me to see his most vulnerable side and I thought that he was comfortable with me and we had the same thoughts for each other, that we have a thing for each other.

I even gave that love book to him to make him advance faster with the confession but he didn't try to do anything of that, because I am just a friend to him and I am not that important to him. It is not like he will risk his life just to come back to South Korea, he is contented with living here in Taiwan.

He doesn't need me around and I am just wasting my time here in Taiwan where I could be spending my time at home not doing anything else, he made me come to Taiwan because of him and I am starting to dislike Taiwan a little because he resides here. He doesn't like me and he will only think of me as a friend, I am the only one who thinks that there is something between the two of us and the only thing that is between us is friendship and nothing else.

The door opens and I looked around for any hole to jump into but I was too fast, Seungmin has already seen me and it is too late to tell him that it was just a coincidence. No one stands in front of someone's door for 30 minutes straight if they don't have anything better to do.

"What do you need from me, Miss Choi?" He asked me in his grouchy voice.

I want to tell him that there is nothing wrong and we will continue the search for Han Sanghyuk but I believe that I have come to a decision at last and that I wouldn't regret whatever I am going to say to him. 'Seungmin, the search is over. We will return to Seoul tomorrow, book a return ticket for the both of us.' I told him and I waited for a few seconds to let him respond to whatever I am saying to him.

"That's great, I am glad-- The search is over?" He yelled and I told him to keep his mouth shut or he will be disturbing the other guests who are staying on the same floor as us. "Did you find the guy? What did you say to him when you met him?"

'It doesn't matter now, all I know is that we will be wasting more time if we stay here any longer.' I said to him, hiding all my feelings inside of me so he will never know what I am feeling right now. 'Have a good rest, I will see you in the morning.' I turned my heel around and walked back into my room and a tear escaped from my eye.

It has been 5 years liking someone and it is time to let go, there is no use holding onto something that you don't get appreciated for what you have done and it is best to let it go so that I can move on with my life. Han Sanghyuk is my first love and he has become part of my life but he is not to stay, he has become a small memory of mine.

But I just couldn't stop crying no matter how much I don't want to, he is such a bastard for making me think that there was something and I was completely fooled by him. I cried so hard to the point that I had to wear sunglasses to hide my puffy eyes from everyone and Seungmin shakes his head at me. "How hard did you cry last night? You can continue to lie to me if you want but you have to tell me if it is hurting you, and I know that you got hurt from Han Sanghyuk."

'How did you even know?' I asked him.

"The walls were too thin and I was able to hear everything from the room, he was being a bastard to you and telling you that you were wasting your time on him." He said to me. "If you don't want me to tell anyone about this, I will help you to keep the secret but you will have to promise me something. You have to let me know about your life for me to be your butler, Miss Choi."

'Jooeun, that is the name that you will address me at when we are in private but you are also free to call me whatever you want.' I told him. 'And I am officially moving on from my unrequited love for Han Sanghyuk.'