Her Voice / han sanghyuk (#14)

Episode 42

Sanghyuk

I sat up on the hospital bed, reading the book that Jooeun had gotten for me since a very long time, I have almost forgotten about it because I didn't like reading and I wouldn't spend my time staring at something that would make me fall asleep in a matter of minutes. But sometimes it is better to start reading to gain more literal knowledge and it is one of the things that Jooeun loved to do in her free time.

And I felt so bad for what I did to her way back then, I tore up her book the second day I met her and I was annoyed that she was reading and that is something that most people wouldn't do in school, it is such a noisy environment to be in but yet you are expected to be focused in learning and studying which is such a difficult task for me to do and to add reading on top of the pile makes me so annoyed and irritated that someone is able to cope with all of that stress and still be good in her studies.

But she was good in her studies, I can't deny that she is a great student and she reads in her free time as well which meant all the time because she doesn't go anywhere else but school. That was what made me admire her as a person, she has a disability but she treats it as a bonus rather than something that will hinder in the way of her going about her everyday life.

I, on the other hand, is struggling to live my own life even though I don't have any disabilities but I create those disabilities myself and I am unable to cope with life properly. And Jooeun was the one who told me that I should start to live life the way that I wanted and not to think that the world is against you and there is always someone who would love me no matter what. And even after bad things have happened to me, I should stay positive and accept the harsh reality that I am in and live with it, and then move on with life.

Ever since she has come into my life, she has done nothing but to help me become a better version of myself and not to downgrade myself with every bad decision that I did but to learn from those bad decisions and turn them into a learning experience, that is the way to improve myself and I certainly have changed so much ever since I met her and I am thankful that she is here for me when I need her.

I flipped onto the next page when I heard a knock on the door and I looked up and I saw my sister's face on the glass panel before she makes her way into the hospital room. "Are you feeling bored?" I shook my head and I showed her the book that I was reading, she gasped and pointed at the book aggressively. "You were reading?! Since when did you even like reading? I don't even know that you can read."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, I am not that even stupid and I do know how to read, thanks for the reminder that I am studying in high school," I told her. "Jooeun brought it for me, she gave it to me a long time ago and I haven't been able to read it but it is a great book, I enjoyed reading it a lot."

She sat down on the chair next to my bed. "What genre is it?" She asked and I showed her the title of the book. "Romance? You didn't seem like someone who would read or watch romantic things, Jooeun seems like the one who will do that."

"Can you stop judging your little brother for a moment and allow him to read his book? I was having my peace and quiet and then you came in, ruining the peace and quiet that I had." I closed the book and looked over to the lunchbox that she brought over. "What did you cook?"

"I made spaghetti, I added the meatballs that you liked to have on your noodles." She opened the lunchbox and passed it to me. "You could've just eaten the hospital food, I will not need to even cook for you if you are willing to eat the food that the hospital provides for you."

"They are not nice and I am used to having home-cooked food, plus it is a waste of money ordering hospital food that is so bland tasting." I immediately dug into my food. "Did you see Jooeun when you reached the hospital?"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't see her at all. She wouldn't be here at this timing because the school hasn't ended yet." She told me. "I heard that there is a lot of tests this week and she is very busy with school."

She hasn't come to visit me ever since I have gotten hospitalised and it is already 4 days, the last time she was there was the day where I got admitted and she was there until very late. I wonder if she got home safely that night, she worries too much about me and it is bad for her health. "You don't seem very happy to hear that, do you miss her a lot?"

I nodded. "I wonder how is she, she didn't look very happy when she left that night." I looked at my phone, she hasn't sent any messages at all, she would usually do before coming to see me at my house. Maybe she is just really busy...

"I am sure that she will come to visit you as soon as she is free, she wouldn't leave you alone like this." I nodded and my sister suddenly gasped. "I forget to tell you earlier but if anyone happens to call you asking you to go to them, hang up the call right away."

"Why? Who is that person?" I asked and I saw the look on her face. "Is it them right? Relax, I don't have their contact number and I don't even plan to save their numbers at all. If I happen to receive their calls, I would block them immediately."

"I knew that you would say that." She smiled, looking more relieved after I have reassured her. "I better go back to work now, it is nearing the end of my lunch break." She left the hospital after a few minutes and I spent the rest of the day just reading the book that Jooeun gave to me, I was listening to music as well so that I wouldn't get distracted by anyone else.

My music suddenly stopped and my phone started vibrating, I knew that it was a phone call and I looked at the caller ID, it was a whole string of numbers but I recognize the number. It is the number that I don't want to pick up or to even talk to, I have nothing to say to them. The phone stopped vibrating and then it started once again, this time it is from another person, it is someone who is better than the first person that called me.

I didn't want to say a word to her and so I just answered the call with no intention of picking up, I know that I told my sister that I wouldn't talk to them but I want to know why they would want to call me. "Sanghyuk-ah, this is your mother. I have something important to say to you and I want you to stay calm down about it no matter what happens."