Her Voice / han sanghyuk (#14)

Episode 40

Sanghyuk

"He is now in a more stable condition because you brought him here to the hospital in time, if not he will not be able to survive in this state. His willpower has made him go against the odds and survived despite only having a 40% chance of survival, most people wouldn't be able to do that." I overheard the conversation between two people, most likely the doctor and my older sister. Jooeun could be in the same room and she is most probably just listening to them, worrying me and my condition.

And I didn't want them to worry about me, especially at a time where things are already worse and this only made me feel even more useless to everyone that I know, because of me, they now needed to take care of someone who used to be the strongest in the family, the one who is always independent but now people have to take care of me because of the choice that I have made.

I know exactly how strong their punches are and I can easily avoid them, I know exactly how to take them down but I chose not to because I wanted to tell them that I am the same one who fought multiple men at one time and I would win the fight, I have changed and I would rather not to use my fists to solve anything. And I did, I became their punching bag by will and they got what they wanted.

They would find me uninteresting because I didn't flinch or showed any fear in my eyes, they wanted fear to be in me as they beat me up, they wanted me to fear them and cower in fear when I see them the next time but I won't do any of that. I am Han Sanghyuk, the one who is fearless and fears no human on the planet, except for my older sister and my late grandmother, but they are family, it is only right that I would fear them because they are older than me and I respect them at the same time.

And because I showed them that I am fearless and brave, they wouldn't want to beat me up again because I am boring to them. And I got to protect the person that I love with my own methods but now I am in critical condition because I did just that and risked my life for that, but I don't regret one bit of it other than the fact that they have to take care of me now. Especially Choi Jooeun who is my classmate and my best friend, she is also the person that I loved a lot and I needed her by my side, without her, I wouldn't have able to live.

Although my older sister is there to provide for me financially, she is just my older sister and she has her own life as well, she may have to take care of me now but someday she has to take care of her own family in the future. She will always be there for me when I need her help but she isn't someone that I would spend the rest of my life with, my wife would be the one who will do that for me and I would do the same for my future wife as well.

But Choi Jooeun has her own life as well and it is better than my own family, at least she has both parents and she even had an older half-brother who is most likely the successor of her father's business. She already has her entire future planned out for her and she doesn't need to work hard for it, she is an heiress of her father's company even though she was born out of wedlock.

And I am nothing like her, I am just a broken soul stuck in the hospital bed not being able to go anywhere else while trying to protect someone that he loved so dearly that he is willing to sacrifice everything for her. And I am that fool, I am willing to do anything just for Jooeun to be happy and to be away from any danger. As long as she is safe from anything that could possibly harm her in any way, I could even get hurt in the process but I seriously wouldn't mind at all.

Even though I am such a bad person to her before, I want her to know that I am a changed person and I want her to see me in the way that I want other people to see me but even better. Even though I know that she might not choose me in the end, I will be glad that she would choose me to love even though I am not the best choice out there.

"Han Sanghyuk!" My older sister hit me in the chest and I wheezed. "Can you not make me worry all the time? I know that you are usually very reckless but I don't know that you were this reckless. Do you know you could die from that?"

I couldn't really speak yet because I just got out of an intensive surgery not too long ago but my head is clear, I knew that it wasn't the anaesthesia talking because I understood everything that she said to me. I nodded and she groaned loudly before shedding a tear and then she started wailing like a little kid except that she is an adult and she really looked hideous and immature while doing that.

"Han Sanghyuk, do you know how worried I am? I literally ditched work without a second thought because I was so scared that I might lose you as well, I can't deal with the fact that I am going to lose the 2 most important people in my life in less than a month. You do know that I can't deal with that, so stay low can't you? Be a weakling for me so that the chances of dying wouldn't be that high, people will just get tired of you after a while."

It took her almost 10 minutes to calm her and I was crying as well, I didn't realize that my actions were that scary to many people and I feel bad that I am making them feel that day but I am going to lay low from now on. At least my family wouldn't get hurt because of me.