Her Voice / han sanghyuk (#14)

Episode 32

Sanghyuk

I swear that my grandmother has been the nicest to me, she has been nice to me even before my parents had the thought of relocating their business overseas and my older sister and I are unable to join them because we are still quite young at the time and it is unlikely that we continue our studies in a foreign country so my parents left my grandmother in charge of taking care of the two of us.

It has been more than a decade since she has been taking care of us and it is like she had become more like my own mother and father rather than a grandmother, she is everything to me and my older sister, we have depended on her for a lot of things, she has been there for me for as long as I remember, she was there for my elementary school graduation, she was at the play where I played as one of the princes, she had taken a lot of pictures that day.

In middle school, I have been reprimanded by her a lot for returning home in dirty clothes, the boys bullied me a lot for being different and she even went to school once to apologize to the boys who bullied me, I changed after that day and I haven't gotten bullied ever since because I make a promise to me that I will not want my grandmother to apologize for the things that I wasn't wrong for. Even though I wasn't a good boy in middle school, she still appeared at my middle school graduation dressed in her best clothes and my older sister was with her, carrying a bouquet of flowers for me to congratulate me for my graduation.

I remember crying the entire night after the graduation ceremony, I didn't tell anyone about that, not even my older sister knows about it because I would feel so embarrassed that I have cried over something trivial, it is not like it is the first time that my grandmother came to my graduation ceremony and she has always been the most supportive person to me ever. To me, she is my entire life other than my parents and my only family.

And for my high school graduation that is happening at the end of the school year, I can't be certain that she will be able to attend my high school ceremony since she is now lying down on the hospital bed with a respiratory mask aiding her to breathe. We received a call earlier today just a few minutes before the usual timing that we would have dinner, it is from the hospital telling us that our grandmother otherwise better known as Mdm Choi had gotten into a car accident and she is in really bad shape, we immediately rushed down to the hospital as fast as we can ignoring our rumbling stomachs just to see our beloved grandmother laying down unconscious with no signs of ever waking up any time soon.

They said that it was a hit-and-run accident and my grandmother got hit while crossing the road, she didn't jaywalk across the road, she isn't the type of person to ever do that. She would always abide by the traffic rules and regulations and she would scold me so hard whenever I tried to cross the road while the lights are still red, she is the reason why we always wait for the traffic light to turn green before crossing the road.

The person is a bastard for speeding and avoiding the possibility of knocking someone down on the road and it caused my grandmother to get knocked down by the car and land into the hospital, the person did nothing and ran away as soon as my grandmother fell down on the road. I can't believe that someone could do that and ignore what he or she is doing wrong and running away from it because they don't want anything to do with my grandmother.

I will definitely not forgive the person who did this to my grandmother, if I would kill, that option is always available for me whenever it just depends if I want to do it or not. My older sister tapped me on the shoulder and I didn't turn my head to face me, instead of staring at my own reflection on the glass panel. "Hyuk, standing there and staring won't help at all. Let's go home now."

I refused to move a single inch and she sighed. "I know that you are worried about Halmeoni but we have to continue with our own lives as well, we have to stay strong for her so that she would wake up. We are her only grandchild and she means a lot to us but we can't ignore the fact that we need to survive. You have been here the whole night and you have spent the entire night crying, go home and sleep, freshen up and go to school."

"I want to stay here with Halmeoni," I told her. "I won't leave her side until she wakes up, you can go home if you want to."

"Hyuk..." She called. "Please return back to the old Han Sanghyuk, you have to stay strong for her. She wouldn't be pleased to know that you are here being such a crybaby, you know that she doesn't like us to cry for her, she wants us to be strong and go through everything with a smile on my face."

I'm afraid that she will be gone if I leave her side for even a second, that always happens in dramas, they never go wrong about that. But I don't want my grandmother to go, she means everything to me and she has been the only parent in my life. I find myself going to my grandmother for life advice when my parents have returned home for a short holiday, I feel awkward with them around and I don't know what to say to them either, it is usually long pauses after the mandatory 'how's life?' and 'how are you coping with your studies?', I would find myself excusing myself to my room where I would spend the rest of my day in there until my grandmother calls me out to have dinner.

I really can't live without my grandmother, she is a part of my life and losing her would be like losing a major part of me and who I am. God, I pray that you would spare my grandmother's life until my graduation ceremony... I want her to see me in my graduation robe for the final time.