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early update bc i'm not gonna have my phone at the time i usually update 😔

"...Awake."

~~~~~~~~

Jisung slowly opened his eyes but quickly closed them again because of the bright light. His arms were stinging and he felt like he couldn't move his body if he tried to.

Where am I? he wondered as his eyes finally opened and he looked around at the white bedsheets and plain room he was in. Then at his arms which were both wrapped in bandages.

Why am I not dead?

I thought that I did it this time.

Who took me here?

Did my parents?

Does my mom really not mean it? He questioned as he felt the tiniest bit of hope despite his entire body aching.

He had a hard time believing it was his parents that took him here though. They hated him. His mom straightforwardly told him that she would be happy if Jisung killed himself so why was he sitting in this room still alive.

He knew it most likely wasn't his parents that took him there but he didn't want to think of any other possibility. All he knew was that if his parents weren't the ones who took him there then he didn't want to be there.

He was doing this for them in the first place.

After all the disappointment and stress he caused them he needed to do this for them.

He was also tired of how his parents made him feel.

Even when he was around Minho and felt happy his parents took that away the second he would walk into his house and he was tired of it.

And the fact that his way of coping caused stress on the person he cared about most made it worst.

From his perspective, all of it was his fault. And killing himself was the only way to solve all the problems.

I wonder what story I'm on Jisung thought, glancing at the window though he was too weak to even stand up.

Would it do anything if I ripped off these bandages?

Maybe I could find some pills an-

His thoughts got cut off when a nurse walked into the room and looked at him, surprised.

"Hi, Jisung." She spoke in a sweet voice and stood next to his bed. "I'm surprised that you're awake right now. How are you feeling?"

I'm supposed to lie right? Things wouldn't end very well if I told her I was mad that I didn't successfully kill myself.

"F-fine."

"I'm afraid your parents haven't yet picked up their phones and they were not at your home. Do you know how we could get ahold of them?"

"No. W-who took m-me h-here then?"

"The paramedics took you here because someone named Minho called and explained he was worried you may have tried to harm yourself."

He broke his promise.

Jisung stayed completely silent so the nurse continued.

"You suffered from major blood loss and it wasn't looking too great for you. I think you're friend called in perfect timing. You're very lucky for that."

I don't feel lucky at all.

"We have some pain medication. Do you feel like you need some of it right now?"

Jisung's eyes lit up, please just hand me the entire bottle.

"Yes."

"Okay, I will go grab you some. We can't give you a full prescription due to the circumstances and why you are here but let me know when you need it and I will grab some for you." She showed him a small smile before leaving the room.

This sucks. Jisung thought to himself.

He couldn't even attempt to do anything because someone could walk in the room at any given moment then things would only get worse.

There was nothing he could do right now besides getting better. Which was the last thing he wanted. His entire body hurt and he was so close to being dead. He just wanted it to be over with.

Meanwhile, in another room, Jisung's parents finally picked up their phones. They explained that they were temporarily in America on a business trip and that they had no idea Jisung would ever try to do something like that.

Then they proceeded to tell the doctor that they wanted him checked out as soon as possible despite the fact that they wouldn't be home for another two weeks.

The doctor explained to them that He couldn't send him home alone with the pain medication so Jisung's parents proceeded to offer money so he would do it anyway.

And there are some horrible people in the world willing to do anything for money.

Jisung's doctor happened to be one of those people.

They also denied any sort of mental help or therapy for Jisung despite what he had just done. They saw Minho walk up to their house when they were leaving. They knew the only reason why he didn't succeed was because of Minho.

They didn't want Jisung to get better they wanted him to die. They hoped that by giving him another opportunity he wouldn't fail this time because they truly wanted him dead.

The doctor walked into Jisung's room trying to contain his smile considering how much money Jisung's parents had just offered him for doing as they said.

"Hi, Jisung. So glad that you are awake. Your parents finally answered our calls, such sweet people. They are in America right now but they want you checked out as soon as possible which would be tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Y-yes," Jisung replied.

"it's pretty late now so you should get some rest but we will check you out first thing in the morning." He smiled at him as if he weren't in the hospital for attempted suicide.

Jisung nodded as the doctor turned off the light for him before leaving the room.

Jisung didn't want to sleep but he was tired and there wasn't much else to do so eventually he let himself close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

I hope I don't have to see Minho or Felix again. I already said goodbye.

He knew seeing either of them after giving them those notes would be difficult. Especially Minho.

He didn't want Minho to hug him and tell him how happy he was that he was alive. He didn't want Minho to kiss the top of his head and make his heart freak out. He didn't want to be reminded that he had something that made him still want to live.

That would only make things more difficult.


The quotes in the description haven't even been said yet how would he have been dead?😭

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