Chapter 10.8

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His heart reduced, head fuzzy and his body felt shaky, Zhongli entered his small apartment, no one but himself in it.

Looking around, he saw his empty gray couch that had a blanket sprawled all over it. he picks the blanket up and folds it. He gulps and then notices an old pizza cardboard box beside the couch, he winces at the sight of it, feeling pathetic for having succumbed to such depths.

“What a trope,” he mutters before picking up the empty cardboard pizza box and quickly tossing it into his trash can. He decided to ignore the fact that it was overfilled and continued to pick up and fold certain clothing pieces he found lounging around his apartment.

He always tried to be neat and tidy, but he could only assume that loneliness came with bad habits.

He moved around his apartment, continuing to clean and pick up more trash or put more clothing he left around. Every single piece of trash or dirty article of clothing only placed another stabbing into his heart, reminding him that he was truly a mess, physically and emotionally. He wondered how his apartment got to such a point, never noticing it till now.

Then he remembered.

“Childe,” Zhongli whimpers out, his heart tightening at the memories of Childe bearing a cute apron and doing chores around his house. He also recalled himself trying to fight against, telling Childe he didn’t need to do such things, but the ginger would always refuse and continue, claiming it was an act of his love.

Zhongli’s breath shallowed, his eyes flitting around the rooms as he remembered his ex-boyfriend cleaning up for him. He was truly a sweetheart, something that warmed Zhongli, but it also brought up the memories of pain, the break-up, and the months following trying to recover.

Merely a few days ago, he believed he was doing alright, yet he now saw otherwise, looking around his apartment for more trash and dirty clothes. He felt grossed out by himself, surprised to see he could reach such a low and neglect basic cleaning habits.

He entered his room, picking up a few more shirts and placing them in the basket. Then in the corner of his eyes, he saw a blue frame, plus a mirror. He let out a deep sigh and went to face it, confronting the mirror. Yet ironically what he saw was himself, looking awful and tired. His hair was musty, his chin wasn’t shaved, and he didn’t have the same confidence he remembered having in the Fall.

He shook his head, putting his observations aside, and went to check behind the mirror, realizing he hasn’t inspected behind it for a while. When moving the mirror from the wall to the bed, he gasps, almost dropping the mirror.

It was a blue sweatshirt that said “Fatui Military High school”, the same sweatshirt Childe gifted him when they were dating. Zhongli remembered the day clearly. After a perfect picnic, the two went to his apartment to cuddle and when Zhongli got cold, Childe offered his sweater, Zhongli felt so loved at the moment he kissed Childe’s lips till they were as blue as the sweatshirt.

The tall boy gritted his teeth, wincing at how painfully perfect the memory was for him, no longer able to spark the same warmth it did before.

He picked the sweatshirt up and then realized that someone out there would probably love to have a sweatshirt from Childe now, finally remembering her. He felt bad, cringing at his actions, and feeling bile rise in his throat, disgusted at himself.

“Archons, I need to apologize,” Zhongli muttered, his heart sinking low as he sat down on the bed, looking at the blue sweatshirt solemnly. He then saw the blue outline mirror beside him, trembling at the sight of it.

He looked away and went to lay in his bed, hoping to sleep away from his problems before suddenly his phone vibrates. It was Kaeya, his rather vain but loveable friend.

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