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He's beautiful. His brown and all messy hair lightly covers his forehead, it almost feels like the sea breeze has hit him softly. The dim light that penetrates through the slots of the shutter highlights the clear color of his skin, highlighting his little moles on his body that I find absolutely adorable. His hand holds mine tightly because he too, like me and our baby, is afraid to leave me. We both lived through that period in which we woke up in empty beds, something we hated most and now we hold hands, when we don't hug each other, we look for any physical contact that makes us understand that neither of us is gone.
I don't want to doubt that doctor's professional experience, but he is elderly and may not have seen essential things. I'm afraid there's no way I can deny it. I'm afraid of losing the love of my life. I'm a good dad, I admit, but I'll never be able to raise our little girl alone. How am I going to look Luce in the face, the smile the same as that of her mum on her tiny lips, the same dimples, the same little hands with those thin fingers… And what will I do when she calls her mom and her mom won't be there? And what am I going to do when I call him and he won't be there? How will my lips warm if his are not there? How will my skin remember the feel of his skin if he isn't there? How will my heart do? Will it hold up?
“Rye? Rye, love what's up?" and so in a few seconds I am in his arms that hold me impossibly close to him. "Cry, my love, cry it's good for you" crying is good for me, it’s what I need now, he's right, but in this case I don't know how to stop.
He whispers sweet words to me, stroking my hair where his soft fingers sink, but I can't think of anything other than the fact that he is with me today and in a few days he may not be here anymore.
"Do you remember what Sonny told me when you were in the hospital?"
"No"
"He told me you love me"
"It’s true"
"He said you love me, you love the baby and you would never leave me"
"Never" I repeat.
"Do you remember?"
"Vaguely" "
“Now I'm saying the same thing to you” he leaves me a kiss in my hair, my eyes fall on the sleeping baby next to us. "Look at me love, look at me" she takes my face in his hands, looking straight into the rivers that have formed in my eyes, while his are an open ocean. "There is something stronger than all the rest, that thing that you cannot destroy even if you use all the forces in the world, not even if you call billions of strong men. Do you know what this thing is?"
"Our love"
"Exactly baby, just our love" he sighs, like me his eyes rest on Luce, her mum’s shirt acts as a blanket for her.
“You didn't give up. You love me, you love our little girl and it's the same to me. You are my everything, I will never give up, I will never allow anything to hinder our love, our happiness, our family again. Do you know, however, what this means? "
