Love made Visible

LI. Too much to bear.

Chaeyoung:

Sana: Exactly! Why not just tell her.

Mina: I can't!

All of us were startled when Mina suddenly said with her voice slightly raised. She looked also shocked on what she said.

Mina: I... I mean. I... I can't finish my beer anymore. I'm tired. I... I'll go wash up.

She suddenly stood and went straight to our room. I wanna know what she mean that she can't. Sana was right It's unfair. I can't let what happened 2 years ago happen again.

I went after her. Inside I saw her on her way to the terrace. I went to her and took hold both of her arms.

Me: I had enough. Enough of you leaving me hanging.

Mina: What are you saying? I guess you drank too much already.

Me: I'm still sober. Don't change the subject. Tell me what's the reason you want me to stop. I need to know.

Mina: Chaeng. Stop. You're drunk.

Why she can't just tell me? I pushed her towards the wall. I looked down unable to control my tears anymore. It hurts so much. My head and my heart both hurts.

Me: I... The last 2 years were torture. Emotionally I was stuck, stuck at the memories of you.

I looked at her straight into her eyes. I saw sadness yet I can't understand why. Why she won't let me know.

Me: Please, I need to know.

Her eyes are starting to get wet. I don't know if she's tearing up because of the situation we're in or was it because she's staring at me without blinking. Us staring at each other lasted a few minutes.

She then pushed me making me drop my hands. She walked towards the bed but stopped then turned to face me. I noticed her eyes changed. No longer teary eyed it just suddenly went cold.

Mina: You really wanna know why? Even if the truth will hurt?

No. Not the cold Mina again. I somewhat got scared of what she will say. But I need to know.

Me: I'm already in pain. So just tell me.

Mina: Fine. I...

She looked at me with her cold eyes.

Mina: I don't like you the way you like me. I don't even want to be friends with you. I despise your... Your kind. I am not like you. Now, I hope that's clear enough for you.

Her words sent a million waves of emotions through out my body. Yet somehow I know, a small part of me tells me I don't believe her that it doesn't make sense. Her words does match the coldness in her eyes. Those words pierced me, shattered my heart into pieces. Tears kept streaming from my eyes but I kept my gaze on her. We stayed staring at each other for a few minutes.

I took a deep breath and stepped closer to her.

Me: I know I'm not the only one hurting.

I raised my hand and reached for her cheeks. Her eyes became wide and flinched as I touched her.

Me: If you want to stand by to what you've just said, so be it. But I can't hold on anymore. It's too much to bear. You won.

I stepped aside and went out of the room. Sana and Momo appeared at the door which looked like they were listening. I hurriedly went past them out of the room.