Love made Visible

LXXXI. Sobbing Party.

Sana.

I've been thinking about this recently yet still can't decide what to do. It's hard for me to see Mina hurting this badly. Unable to do something to stop her from leaving.

What should I do? I've been wanting to call Chaeyoung and tell her everything. That she might changed Mina's decision of leaving. Yet Mina doesn't want her to know. She's in a bad situation right now and with Mina being too selfless, she'll do what she think will benefit the most even if it means giving up her happiness. Uggh why can't her grandpa just be a grandpa who cares for their grandchild's happiness!

Mina, poor Mitang, who had to break her heart and the heart of the person she loves. She doesn't deserve this.

Our vacation started and I know Mina thinks of Chaeyoung sometimes specially at those places we've been with her the last time we're here. It's so hard to see her smile though her eyes screams of sadness.

Sana do something! I told myself. Call Chaeyoung and tell her everything. Make her fight for her love. I told myself, yet I can't bring myself to call her.

I talked to Jihyo about it and she said. She's afraid what will the consequences would be if we did that. Cause it'll be not just us who will be affected, but the thousands of employees in our company too.

That left me no choice but to stay quiet and watch my best friend suffer.

-------------------------------------------------------

Mina.

I unexpectedly cried so hard for Dahyun yet there are three left. Do I still have tears to cry?

Jihyo: in the beginning I really don't know how to approach her, she being a foreigner. Yet in time I learned that language and culture was the only difference cause she was just like any other kid. When I get to know her I was at ease suddenly. She got that aura that you can trust her and be at ease just being with her. Even if you're just sitting next to each other not talking it won't be awkward at all. Last 2 years ago made us much closer for we rely on each other when we were at our darkest times.

She paused trying so hard not to cry. But her eyes were now watery.

Jihyo: It's so hard...to... be a leader losing a member... and... And you can't even do anything about it. Like what Dahyun said I also hate it. Hate how this is so unfair for you. This sacrifice you made is beyond what anyone can do not even me as a leader... It hurts so much that you have to do this... It hurts so much seeing you hurt... Twice won't ever be the same without you. My life.. won't ever be the same without you...

I sobbed hard as she hugged me. Sana hugged us too. She was sobbing uncontrollably. She and Jihyo stayed beside me holding my hand.

Momo then stood and faced us. She was also crying yet still tried to speak.

Momo: this is a joint message from me and Sana... I'd be reading it for Sana clearly can't speak... During our trainee days You, Sana and me were always together. When it's our off we would go outside explore some shops and restaurants...You were always our guide... We soon became our little family here in this foreign land. Luckily we debut together and our family grew larger. Then this happened. It felt like our family is going to be rift apart... It's sucks that we can't do anything. We don't want to lose you...

She then looked at me and cried.

Momo: Mitang don't leave us.

She hugged me, as well as Sana and the three of us sobbed. The girls went over to us and also gave us water. When we got calmer, they let me go and drank water. After a while I stood and went at the center.

Me: First of all, thank you for all the thank you messages. I really don't know what to write or should I say I don't know if I could write it cause for sure I'd be crying.

I then took a deep breath.

Me: honestly I already cried buckets just hearing you. I... I'm so proud to be part of this group, of this family. Thank you all for you girls made living in a foreign world more bearable. I'm so glad I'd get to spend my dream with you girls. It'll be not that fun if it was just me and honestly I wouldn't reach this far if it was only me.

I took a deep breath again.

Me: I'm deeply touched by all of your messages...I... I've never felt so loved. Honestly, I walked around earlier just to watch you girls. I just want to look at all of you...

Then I cried.

Me: If... If I could just take you all with me, I will. It was hard to look at all of you then thinking It'll be our last night together.... it's... But it'll be more painful if you girls are the one who suffers because of me. My conscience won't let me do that. I love you girls too much.

I cried harder. It took a few seconds before I could speak.

Me: Before, I actually had thought we would still be performing even if we're in our 40's or more than that. But it looks like it'll be just you girls...

I paused and faced Momo and Sana.

Me: Thanks to You two I felt less homesick knowing you two are by my side. You'll always be my family... You all are... Please continue to make Once happy... Please continue my dream for me... The thought of not seeing you girls everyday pains my heart... I'm sorry I have to leave. Believe me I don't want to... it's just... it's so hard... It hurts so bad..

I fell on my knees and broke down. I can't speak anymore for I sobbed harder. I tried controlling it but I can't anymore.