Ukiyo; Living in the moment. (Hunter/Golden guard X Reader)

Its not as easy as deep breaths

Hunter POV
"Y/N.." I gasped. I felt a tear stream down my cheek. No. No. No. This can't be happening. I'm crying in front of people. I felt my mouth slip open, gasping for air but my breath would hitch before I could take a deep breath. I felt another tear fall. I kept gasping for air but none was coming. I felt like I was dying, all the air in my lungs had left me. I was gasping like a fish and crying in front of Y/N.

Y/N was saying something but as much as I tried to listen I couldn't hear. My vision got kind of patchy, black blobs began to fill my eyes to the point I couldn't see anything. My mouth felt dry and I could feel my lungs contracting, expanding and contracting but no air was coming.

Your POV
"Shit- shit- shit. You're having a panic attack. Oh my- oh shit- oh. What do I do? Oh my- oh- are you okay? That was a stupid question of course you're not. This isn't helping.. oh my. Shit."

Hunter POV
I felt my knees bend a little, my spine no longer doing the job of holding me up, I felt my body crumple to the ground like a crushed soda can. My knees hit the ground first, I used the last bit of control I had left to put my arms in front of my face before hitting the ground. I felt my nose sting from the impact but nothing felt broken.

Your POV
"Hunter, can you hear me?" I was freaking out. I pulled his head into my lap like I had done in front of the coffee shop. Ed used to be have anxiety attacks at school, he still
does, but not as often, they weren't ever as severe as this but I got the jist of how to handle Hunter's situation from that.

I held his hand with one hand and rubbed his back with the other, trying to get him grounded. I couldn't comfort him or get him to tell me what he needs from me until he was back in it. "It's okay Hunter." I kept repeating the phrase. As selfish as it is, I think I was talking to myself more than him at this point. I was scared.

Emira POV
"Oo trouble in paradise huh?" Ed joked. I punched him in the shoulder a little bit harder than I probably should've. "What?" He asked confusedly. "Y/N's our friend Ed. Have a little empathy?" I said it with gritted teeth, to keep me from yelling at him. Viney rubbed my hand comfortingly.

Your POV
I want to believe it's going to be okay. I rubbed my thumb on the back of his hand as he laid in my lap. He wasn't squirming or anything, but he wasn't not moving. He was still choking on tears. "Please Hunter, deep breaths." I begged. I felt a tear running down my cheek. "Hunter." My voice shattered, half a word, half an incoherent whine.

Hunter POV
I blinked hard, as if I could blink it all away, like a bad dream. The black blobs dance around but now I could see cracks of light between them. I managed one breath, something I do everyday, obviously, felt like such an accomplishment now.

Your POV
One full breath, one, maybe two seconds of not choking and I was ready to celebrate. "Hunter, come on, one more breath." I cheered. I felt my heart fall asleep he started to get choked up again.

Hunter POV
I keep trying to get that breath back but it's slipped out of reach. I move my hand, reaching for anything, I feel like I'm falling. I blink, and the blobs clear enough, I see Y/N's red eyes, tears streak their face.

They cared. They were there. I focus on just my breathing. I try to clear my mind. The bad thoughts keep trying to push their way in but I'm focusing on breathing. I get one shallow breath, then another, then another deeper breath. I feel the freshness of the cool night air in my lungs.

"Yes!" I hear Y/N cheer against the quiet night around us. I open my eyes and get the clear image of Y/N crying over me. Her hand is gently rubbing mine, I reach out to put a finger over hers and she smiles.

Your POV
"Hunter." I choke out. "Hunter, you scared me so much." It was selfish, I was thinking of me just after his crisis. I know, I know.

Hunter POV
I tried to sit up but Y/N pulled me against them until I was laying in their lap and they ran their hands through my hair. "It's okay Hunter." I pretended not to notice the tear that fell into my hair.

"I'm so sorry." Y/N's voice shattered. "I really am." I relaxed into their lap. "It's okay, you don't have to reply and I get it if you're still upset. It's okay if you're still upset." I pulled their hand to my lips and pressed a kiss against it. They giggled quietly.