That Month In May. Joshua Hong x Reader

37. My Point Of View I Cannot Take.

Joshua's Pov.

"What are you doing?." I directed it to Haneul..Worried about Eunhi I couldn't stop looking at her.

"Joshua!" She ran to me and hugged me..Don't touch me..

"Ah- She-!" Haneul pinched me, as I knew immediately what she wanted.

"Haneul..Are you okay." I wanted her to just leave us so I could speak to Eunhi for just one more second. "Eunhi...I thought..I was being a little strict..But it's more worse than I thought." I bit my lip, not being able to make eye contact. I dragged Haneul away with me as we went somewhere quiet.

"Well you're making progress." She smirked.

"You're ruining us." I said.

"You're not even going to ask about my face.?" She tilted her head, still smiling.

"You started it." I folded my arms, leaning against the wall. "So don't try." I grumbled.

"Well..Too bad I guess." She shrugged.

"Will you ever tell me what actually happened?" I was losing my patience with her.

"Why should I." She didn't face me, she kept on walking. I followed her.

"But maybe we could end this if you just tell me." I was coming up with a great plan but..

"STOP IT! I AM SET ON MY PLANS! Don't try changing me for the good. I started this..And I will end it my way." She stopped moving..But she still didn't look at me. "Hurry up." She continued as I silently shuffled behind her.

Every day, she reminded me each time..But I still made time for Eunhi.

But it got closer and closer..I had no idea what I should've done. "Are you breaking up with her?"

"Do I have to... do it straight to her?" I fiddled my fingers..My skin peeling and bleeding from all the pressure I had been put under.

"No. I guess not. But hurry it up." She took a call and I went to Eunhi's contact. I messaged her..

Should I say..I'm sorry? Should I just not say it? Will she hate me..? Of course she will..

We should break up.
I'm sorry.

I shut my phone immediately, going to Haneul. "I-I did it." I clenched my shirt, feeling nauseous already.

"Good job. Then I'll restrain myself from ruining them." She turned away. "But I don't remember saying..I wouldn't ruin their lives even after you break up with them." She left me baffled as I grabbed her arm.

"You promised you wouldn't." I tightened my grip. "Don't you dare." I ordered and she rolled her eyes.

"You can't take a joke, can you." She snatched her arm away, massaging it.

"Well, seeing how you are..It's hard to tell." We definitely had a secret urge to hit each other with these words we kept splattering back at each other.

"Fair." She said. "Enjoy the rest of your time until her birthday. Don't forget." Haneul held my hand before trotting away.

"Mhm." I watched her disappear into the distance as I reflected on my actions. "The members.." I groaned, leaning back complaining. I spent most of my time alone..How should I face them when I've joined in ruining them..

But I'd rather have them hate me instead of just hanging out with them, making a fool out of myself.

I talked on Weverse a bit.

I miss a few particular people.

ㅜㅜ I'm bored.

But what should I do when I have no one else to talk to. I'm not an idiot for doing this..right?. I began to ring Haneul and it took a while before she picked up.

"Surprised you'd be the one calling." Of course that poker voice of hers.

"I'm bored."

"Go hang out with someone else." She grumbled, I could tell she wasn't please with my call.

"You got rid of that someone else. Remember." I poked it back at her and she gave a short silence for me.

"Sorry." She said, then ending the call. I placed down my phone, a bit bewildered but not much expected from her.

Months later, on Eunhi's birthday.

"So, you know what you have to do." She expected me to know. But it felt even worse than going on stage to perform.

"Mhm.." I felt so small but I did as told. I clenched my fists, entering the house. "Hey.." I waved as they all looked at me. "Happy birthday?.." I raised my shoulders and Eunhi just turned away.

"Yeah. Thanks." She replied. I wanted to get this over with.

"I..have something to say though." My fingers twitched, scratching them from anxiety.

"What is it Joshuji.?" Jeonghan still called me that..I wanted to cry on the spot and tell them.

"I'm..dating Haneul." I said. It was just pure quiet. What..I didn't feel well. I stormed out. "Sorry. I have to leave early." I rushed out in an instant to go meet Haneul at the chosen location.

"By the looks on your face, you've probably done it." She turned to me, with her arms crossed.

"Yes. And I can't continue with this! I did everything you asked me to!" I yelled..I wanted to tear up but she didn't a feel any sort of pity for me.

"Do you see these cherry blossoms.?" She made me move my gaze but I was still annoyed.

"Don't change the topic-!"

"They bloom..Then eventually die for the winter. Something like this was supposed to happen. But you'll fix it." I didn't know what she was on about.

"Shut up! I can't take this!" I was holding on my shirt, my breath beginning to shorten.

"Oh. I guess winter came fast this year." She stared at something beside me. I widened my eyes, not hoping it was her. I jinxed it, my lips quivered as I could see her glossy eyes from a distance. I tried running up to her.

"Eunhi-!" I yelled out but Haneul grabbed onto me.

"Stay with me." She insisted, she was shaking for some reason but my priority was Eunhi..