365 DAYS 365 TALES

IF ONLY I COULD PAUSE THE TIME

"I love you Rahul."

"I love you too Shruti."

At the peek of their youths, both the love birds trapped their hearts in each others prison. They put up a golden lock and threw the key in the deepest of the oceans. But in today's world, if you could not find something, you just make a new one. And the same happened to them.

Rahul's parents molded a new key to fit his lock. They fixed his marriage with someone else. Arranged marriage was the only concept he never liked. Rahul always thought that love wasn't something that can be arranged. No; never. It was something that had to be polished like a diamond before one can understand the real value of it.

"Why don't you tell them that you love me Rahul? Why can't you take a stand?"

Shruti was bemused by the whole situation. She loved Rahul more than her own self. But now, she was confused of her love. Her mind was arguing with her heart. Did she want a partner who couldn't stand for himself? But whatever her mind said, it was not her decision to take.

"I don't want that marriage too, Shruti. You know I love you." 

"Then why don't you tell them?"

"I just...can't."

Rahul was dejected to disappoint Shruti on this front. But he never had it in him to go against his parents. He had chased their dreams from childhood and never said a word. Then why would it be any different this time?

"Let's run away Rahul. This way you won't have to face them either."

Run away? Yes, that was an option. Rahul pondered over it for a long time. Its consequences, its effects, and its aftermaths. He weighed all the things with a perfect balance. And then finally, he ran. He ran that last length, away from Shruti, to stand on the marriage podium.

His lack of guts had drowned his ship once again, but this time, it had dragged an innocent bystander with him. Shruti never recovered from that shock. She was waiting on the station with the tickets in her hand, but Rahul never came. And when that train whooshed by, the only sound she heard was the marriage procession of Rahul.

To say she lost her mind would be an understatement. For every year after that whenever Rahul visited her, she would look at him with an unknown excitement, as if she was chasing some uncertainty. But in all those years that Rahul visited her, never once did she recognize him.

"This was the punishment I deserved long before Shruti," he would say to her and return as if nothing had happened.

They say some people could feel the death as it closed in. At 72 today, Rahul could sense it coming as well. Because even today he didn't have that strength in himself to face the world alone.

When his wife had died a few years back, Rahul didn't feel those emotions. But last week, that last piece in the puzzle had set into place. There was a call, a call from the hospital. Shruti had lost her battle with life. That was the final nail in the coffin for Rahul.

Resting his back on his bed, taking those final breaths in this world, Rahul just wished one thing, if only I could pause the time when I was with Shruti.

***

(09/04)

Author - cchinu