365 DAYS 365 TALES

CHASING UNCERTAINTY

The girl sat there looking out of the window trying to put her life together in her mind. They say that the human brain constantly thinks, but at that moment Jade's brain was blank. No thoughts struck her. She just sat there, looking outside the window, blank.

Jade hated such moments. She was a smart girl who knew exactly how to go about things; simple school work, emotions, mental pressure all of it. But this time, things had gone beyond her mental capacity. She was blank and confused. She was not happy for sure but was not upset enough to cry her heart out.

"Jade dear, could you please help Harry with the coffee?," Mrs. Jones called out.

"Yes Mom," Jade replied.

Jade quickly got out of her blank state and moved towards the kitchen. She saw her father working with the filter, unaware of how to put it back in. The espresso coffee maker had been giving them a lot of trouble lately. They needed a replacement soon. Jade fixed the filter, picked up the coffee beans and put the coffee for churning. When it was ready she poured the coffee into a cup and carried the tray out into the restaurant.

She turned to Jason and asked,"Which table?"

"Table number six, Jade," Jason replied. 

Jade nodded and moved towards the table, careful not to spill the coffee.

Jason was a twenty-one year old boy who worked as a part-time worker with the Jones family at their restaurant. He and Jade were the best of friends' and shared almost everything. Since Jason was three years older than Jade, he was more of a brotherly figure for Jade than just best friends.

Jason was aware that something had been troubling Jade but every time he asked she would completely ignore the question or deny it. So he had decided to give her space.

"Your espresso Sir, with two sugar cubes."

She placed the coffee on the table and looked into the eyes of the customer and stood there shell shocked. Words were not in place, thoughts were not in place, again. Her eyes began to tear up and she quickly made her way back into the kitchen. She ran up to the stool in the maintenance closet and tears came streaming down her eyes. It began to get difficult for her to breathe and yet she continued to cry, this time only louder. Her thoughts finally came back to her, this time like a movie of distorted pictures. She felt a hand on her thigh, the customer she had just served, sat kneeling down looking at her with deeply hurt eyes.

"I am sorry Jade, I know I owe you a detailed explanation and I will give it you. I just need some time to process things myself."

Jade wiped the tears off her face, took some deep breaths, looked at Eric and stood up. Eric took it as a cue and got to his feet.

"Eric," she took a pause, long enough for her eyes to fill up again. "Eric, I need you to leave right now! When you're able to put your thoughts into words maybe then we could have this conversation. For now, please leave."

There was silence that grew between the two of them. Eric, looked at her one last time, nodded and left. Jade stood there staring at the white walls. She sank to the floor and stayed there for the rest of the evening. Thoughts fled in and out, she imagined what possible justification Eric had for kissing another girl. She wanted few answers, she needed them for her peace of mind, but she did not have the courage to accept whatever reasons Eric had to give her. She finally managed to fix herself and got up. Adjusting her clothes, she looked into the tiny mirror on the wall, fixed the now smudged eyeliner before opening the door.

"Why are you still here?," Jade asked.

Eric sat on the floor outside the maintenance closet, holding his head between his hands, his knees pulled close together to his chest. He looked up to Jade who was now leaning against the door frame. He had been crying. Jade quickly paced towards the wall he had been resting against and sank to the floor, again. He wrapped his hand around her shoulder and they sat still in silence; only this time Jade spoke to break it.