Life after the car accident

The Eulogy

She was gone. Forever.

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I gently laid my hands on top of my sister's coffin whispering my goodbyes.

I clicked my tall high heels out the door and into a long black limo where the rest of my family awaited me.

I glared out the window throughout the entire journey towards the church. I closed my eyes imagining what life would be like if this had never happened, if Nessa was alive.

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"Hey Roni get up we need to film this week's video" Nessa stated as she threw cushion at my head.

"It's too early" I groaned.

"Roni it's almost 11:00 a.m! Get up you lazy poo" She laughed as she threw yet another cushion at me.

"Right! You asked for it!" I giggled as I picked up my pillow and bolted it right at her, she stealthly dodged it telling me to get ready.

We stood in front of our camera in our new apartment, preparing for our intense oncoming challenge.

"Hey guys I'm Veronica" I started

"And I'm Vanessa" She followed,

"This week we are going to be doing the dare challenge" I whispered excitedly.

By the end of the video I was covered in raw eggs and feathers and Nessa had convinced all her friends that she was pregnant.

We switched off the camera and laughed it off, indulging each others pain for humor.

"I can't believe we just did that" Nessa stated as we burst into another fit of giggles.

I stared into her eyes, she stopped laughing and looked at me concerned.

"Roni what's the matter?" She questioned.

"I'm so stupid!" I cried "How could this even be possible! You're not real!"I shouted as tears streamed down my face.

She looked hurt and confused, "Roni what's gotten over you!"

"Me? You're the one who is going to be buried under a pile of dirt in less than two hours!" my voice stone cold. "Just get out of my head, stop causing me pain. Stop hurting me"

She was hurt, it was obvious to see, but she wasn't real.

I was just waiting to wake up.

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"Veronica honey it's time" My mother whispered, shaking me awake.

I knew it was a dream yet I hoped it could somehow be real.

I glanced into my mother's eyes, seeing shreds pain, she was damaged. I mean why wouldn't she be? This is her second time attending her daughter's funeral.

She exited he car along with my father and other close family, I stayed seated, considering a quick escape but what kind of sister would I be if I ditched my own sister's funeral?

I slowly made my way out of the limo, placing one heel in front of the other, the loud clicking echoing off the pavement leading towards the tall dark gloomy gates of our local cemetery church.

With each step anxiety rolled through my body causing me to shake and begin to tremble, tears formed in my eyes, seconds away from a panic attack.

I suddenly calmed down as a firm gentle hand grasped onto mine, "Hush, calm down, you will be alright" He whispered into my ear.

I looked up from the ground and found myself glued in a gaze with the most amazing eyes I ever saw, "You came"

"I'm here for you" Mason replied,

"Thank you" I let out as a salty tear fell to our shoes,

He led me towards the church doors, his hand still holding mine, standing by my side.

"I'm scared" I whispered, tightening my grasp on his hand.

"Roni, I never had a chance to meet your sister and I'm sorry I wish I had, But I know she would've wanted you not to grieve her death but celebrate her life. If you find this too difficult do not be afraid to leave but I think for Vanessa's sake you should stay" Mason soothed as he softly kissed my cheek.

I gently nodded my head as we made our way through the large wooden doors.

We took our seats and the ceremony began.

I had my eyes glued on the soft mahogany coffin with a large bouquet of flowers placed on top of it, a large frame stood by it's side with a recent photo of Nessa.

I allowed myself to spill a few tears, careful not to smudge my makeup.

My body clenched up, I was moments away from offering Nessa's eulogy.

I slowly walked towards the altar for what felt like hours, I felt the stare of hundreds of friends, family and strangers on me. In my hand was my speech

I looked out to the large amount of familiar faces, I saw Aaron Nessa's ex, Hanna Nessa and I's best friend, Collins Key a fellow youtuber and Dominicdeangelis another old friend.

I closed my eyes for a split second crumbling my long throughout speech in my fist and began to speak from the heart, words fell from my mouth which I had no control over.

"A branch has fallen from the family tree" I began, "I keep hearing a voice that says, 'Don't grieve for me, Remember the best times, the laughter, the song. The good life I lived while I was strong. Continue your life, I'm counting on you. Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through. My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest. Continue the traditions, no matter how small. Carry on with your life, don't worry about me. I miss you dearly so keep your chin up until the day comes we're together again'" I said as my voice shook, I glanced down at Mason who gave me a reassuring nod, "Our song had ended but our melody lingers on. So I'm not going to cry because it's over, I'm going to smile because it happened. Vanessa asked me, coincidentally only weeks before her death in 2016 what I would say at her funeral, I replied by saying I wouldn't attend, it would be too difficult. We laughed it off and I never thought about that moment until now. I wasn't thinking at the time, not attending my own sisters funeral would be selfish. I never had the chance to tell her what I would say and I hoped I would never have to but here I am. Times will come where I will grieve and drown in sorrow but I will always remember these wise words my sister once told me; 'Stay strong for you are brave but don't forget you are still only human' Thank you all of you for attending Vanessa's funeral and please let's attempt to celebrate her life" I finished as I slowly made my way back to my seat, sobbing into my hands. I felt Mason pull me closer and embrace me into his arms.

(Hey Guys! Hope you liked this long sad chapter. I decided to make it long cause it's my birthday!)