Fate

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I could remember everything but it felt as if I was wearing blurry goggles and details were missing.

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6:00, I finished my diary and ended up having to use two books to fill in as much information as I could think of. I hated this! These last few years have been hell but that didn't mean they didn't mean anything to me. I had a boyfriend and a best friend for the first time in years, I had more independence than I've ever received in my life and knowing that later it will feel like all of it was a dream was crushing me. I wasn't having this!

"You are not making me forget!" I shouted as tears streamed down my cheeks, she glanced at me innocently, closing her unfinished diary.

"Veronica you know I have no control over that" she said simply,

"Then who does!?"

"I don't know? Fate!? I've been stuck in the middle of literally nowhere for more than 4 years so this is kind of a relief!" She shouted back only making me angrier.

"Stop pitting yourself for once! I thought you were dead and knowing that all my attempts of trying to get over you will be forgotten kills me! Do you know how much energy and strength I put into those years? I might've been away for a bit and people thought I faked my own death for attention! Mom and Dad thought I had been kidnapped!" I defended myself making sure she heard my opinion.

"You have never understood the position I was in! Choosing pain just so I could maybe be with you one day instead of staying at peace, do you know how bad I felt when I even considered thinking about myself, so grow up Roni, just stay away from me for a while, we need a break" she finished, tears dripping from her eyes. I felt no guilt whatsoever, she's right. We need a break.

10:00, I went to bed early, not bothering to say goodnight to Nessa or my parents who just came home from work. I lay quietly in bed, my mind began racing, memories that never took place began appearing as vivid memories in my mind. I tried to stop it but I couldn't, my head began to throb and hurt, the pain began searing my mind, my eyes were forced shut as my hands covered my temples. Visions of Nessa and I which never occurred flashed in front of my eyes causing my head to feel as if it were on fire. A burning scream released from my before sealed lips, through my groans of pain I could hear Nessa suffering in the room alongside me. I tried my hardest to hold on to my fresh memories but they slowly slipped away, forcing me to forget. I shrieked in pain, my head felt as if it were bursting in flames, it was excruciating and terrifying, fake memories filling my mind and replacing the real ones.

All my energy drained, I gave up and let 'fate' take over. I didn't see hope in trying, I knew it would end the same so what was the point? My eyes remained shut, slight pain went through my temples because I just let the memories flow in with no hesitation where as I could hear Nessa struggling.

I had enough! I didn't know what had come over me but I want letting my memories go to waste! I fought through the pain and managed to make my way over to the door before collapsing. I knew the pain was gonna get bad but I glad to fight, I will only live once so I'll try as hard as I can to fulfill that saying. I pushed myself over to Nessa's door and burst in, something was different. She was literally glowing, screaming in pain and curled up in a ball. I stumbled over to her and tried to calm her down but as soon as I made contact with her I was blasted across the room. A seeming headache slowly returned until I noticed the clock. 11:59. "One more minute!" I screamed, one more minute until Nessa would be alive. I watched the clock struck twelve and just as planned the pain escaped my body leaving nothing but new memories and barely enough old ones.

I opened my eyes in relief to see Nessa still glowing and screaming, I ran towards her but careful not to touch. "Nessa! Keep fighting! Don't stop" I shouted, I needed her to remember what happened, I needed to remember what happened.

I grabbed Nessa wrist, fighting the force and stayed stable. "I'm not letting go and I'm not forgetting!" I shouted, my fingers barely latched around her arm, I was slowly losing grip so I did what I had to do. I hated seeing Nessa like this, in pain, being tortured. "I'm sorry Nessa" I bellowed over her screams. I took hold of her head, trying my hardest not to be blown across the room, as soon as I had a tight grip I turned my hands. It took all my strength and more to turn her head until I heard the crack and just like that everything was silent. My shaking hands tried to wake her up but it was no use. I killed her.

I knew deep down that I didn't really kill her, she lived through the day she was supposed to die and fate wouldn't let her go any further. It wasn't her time and I didn't want it to be mine, tears streamed down my face as I made my way to the bathroom "I'm coming Nessa" I whispered, I opened her cabinet and found the packet I needed, I dropped it at first because I was so nervous but my conscious kicked in and forced me to open the packet, revealing tinfoil packets containing what I needed.

"You're not doing that" I heard her say behind me,

"You're dead! If I live any longer I'll go crazy!" I shouted, not daring to look up in case my mind began playing tricks on me.

"No Veronica! Seriously, you did the right thing! I'm here" she laughed, grabbing the pills from my hands and throwing them in the toilet, "I don't know what just happened but my bags are packed and I'm here for good" she squealed.

"Nessa" I cried, pulling her in for a hug, I didn't wanna let go. I was right! She wasn't dead! "I'm so glad" I whispered,

"Never try that again" she said.

She brought me into my bedroom and began apologizing, I tried asking her what for but she kept saying sorry. "Vanessa seriously?! What are you doing?" She forced me to lie down and before I knew it my eyes were forced shut.

"Roni I'm sorry but this has to be done in order for both of us to stay sane, I'll forget as well, later tonight but for now you have to think it was all a dream" she ordered.

"No please! Please!" I cried, I tried to get up but my body refused.

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

(Thanks for reading!<3 hope you enjoyed, please tell me what  you think so far<3)

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