model call || h.s

36.

Four weeks later

"Hold on, I still want you. Come back, I still need you." — Hold On by Chord Overstreet

"Nora..." He tries to reach for her, but she slips from his grasp.

"Don't, okay?"

"Please, just try and understand—" The tears running down her face are angry and she turns to him with gritted teeth.

"Understand?" She spits, "How fucking dare you, Harry—how dare you!" He watches her reach into the liquor cabinet and she pulls out a half empty bottle of Russel's Reserve Bourbon. She pours herself a glass with ice and then she takes a long sip. Harry exhales deeply and then tries again, his voice soft.

"All I'm saying...is that you should try and...baby, try and put yourself in her shoes." After another heavy sip, she bites her bottom lip to keep from crying. "She's in pain, Nora." Harry walks into the kitchen and pulls her into him. Her backside molds against his front like a puzzle piece and he wraps his arm around her shoulder and kisses her head, then he nuzzles his face into her hair.

"She's my mom..." Harry can feel her finally breaking down and he does everything he can to keep her upright. As she breaks down in his arms, he keeps his face buried in her neck. Her body wracks with sobs and he holds her tighter.

"I know..." He whispers. "I know, baby. I know.." This is the first time she's truly broken down since her mother was diagnosed. Suddenly, she screams the word fuck so loudly, Harry fears even the downstairs neighbors will hear. He cries into her hair, the horrific sounds of her pain hurting him more than anything ever has. He doesn't try and quiet her, he let's her be. He let's her wail and as her body shakes, he pulls her closer. Her fingers grip his forearms and her head hangs low as she weeps loudly. Harry isn't sure how long they stand there for, her backside flush against his front and her tears on the floor...

"She's gonna die." Nora finally chokes, her voice raspy from crying. Harry nods. "My mom's gonna die." She breaks down once again, this time though, her sobs are noiseless. The only tell-tale sign of her tears is the heaving of her seemingly fragile frame in his arms. Samantha Dodson chose to quit her chemotherapy treatments a week before telling her children. Her oncologist gave her a maximum of two to three months. In that time, her body would begin to shut down. She'd grow weak and she'd no longer be able to leave her bed. Nora would have to say goodbye to her mother in as little as eight weeks. She wasn't ready. She would never be ready. If Samantha had been given eight more years, Nora still wouldn't have been ready. There wasn't enough time. She needed more time. She reached forward and grabbed the glass of bourbon in her trembling hands. She sucked down the rest of the bittersweet, burning liquid.

"Nora..."

"I don't wanna feel it, Harry. I don't want to feel anything, please..." She pleaded with him and he nodded, allowing her to pour another glassful, and then another and another. Her body buzzed and her tears dried up, at least momentarily. She trudged over to the bed, bottle in hand and Harry watched her with sadness in his watery eyes. Rain pelted the windows as an early summer storm rolled into the city and Nora took to the bottle, holding nothing back. "It's not working...Harry, it's not working..." She cried again and he hurried to her side and knelt down in front of her. He put the bottle on the floor and he cupped her hands in one of his. He used his other to wipe the tears from her cheeks and her eyes. "I don't want to feel this fucking pain! I don't want it...I don't want it, Harry, please..." He cried now as she began to panic. What he would've done to be able to take away her pain. He didn't want her to hurt like this. He moved onto the bed beside her and she let her head fall into his lap. Her crying turned to wails almost immediately and he pet her hair down as the tears soaked his jeans. He couldn't imagine losing his mom. He absolutely couldn't, and it hurt him so bad to think that Nora would soon lose hers.

===

To let some air in, Harry had opened some of the windows in the loft. The rain hadn't given in and it fell heavily still. The sound drowning out the silence between he and Nora. It was late, but she was finally in a calmer state. They laid amongst the rumpled sheets and Harry's fingers tickled lightly up and down her arm. Her cheek was pressed against his chest and she listened to his steady heart beating. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here..." She murmurs. "I don't know how—I can't get through any of this without you."

"You won't have to. M'not going anywhere, love."

"God, how did this happen?"

"Life isn't fair...it just—terrible things happen for no reason and I think, like, that's a bit of test. Like, how far can someone go before they're just absolutely ruined." He kisses the top of her head. "But you're so strong, okay? I see that everyday in everything that you do. And I love you, so no matter how bad things are, or if you feel just...lost, you'll never be alone, Nora. I'll be right here, beside you." Early June in New York City was sticky and humid, and the rain didn't help, but Harry knew that her skin stuck to his...it was perfect. He didn't want to be anywhere else. She looked up at him and pressed her lips to his.

"I'm in complete and total love with you."

"We found each other, you know? I was with Evelyn and you were with a bloody hot pirate-elf, who was both a talented bowman and swordsman, but you chose me, and I chose you and we just...we're so good together. We can beat anything that comes our way, I believe that with everything in me." Nora nods and puts her head back on his chest.

"So do I."