Nora Dodson is a "fast-talking, F-bomb-dropping, born-and-bred New Yorker". Harry Styles is no longer a member of One Direction. He's lovely, kind and a very odd young man, though he's entirely unhappy in his relationship. But then he meets Nora an...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I turn the lights off downstairs before trudging back up to our bedroom. I had a sick feeling in my stomach and I was horribly worried about my distraught husband. I knew he was blaming himself, I knew he was. She was right. In her note, Evelyn said that she was selfish, and she really, truly was. I think suicide is the worst thing that someone could possibly do, because it affects everyone around them. They may have escaped the pain, so to speak, but they then thrust it onto the people left behind, and that is the most vicious form of hate, in my opinion. Harry is sitting on the edge of the bed when I walk into the room. His hair is dripping wet and his eyes are trained on the floor. I assume he just dunked his head in water, because he was still wearing his clothes. I want to be angry at him for drinking, and pulling the glass shattering stunt in the kitchen, but I know how much he's hurting, so I opt out of making him feel worse. Instead, I stand in front of him and I smooth his wet hair back. His arms, lethargically, loop around my thighs and he presses his head against my belly. I feel his shoulders begin to tremble and then his entire body is quaking and suddenly, he's sobbing. His grip on my legs tightens and he holds onto me for support. I continue to act as his crutch. I don't want him to feel any pain or guilt. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve any of this. This was supposed to be such a happy week. A new, marvelously beautiful life was just welcomed into the world, but a tortured one left such a malicious and dark mark on the lives around her. I felt so much anger towards her, I really did. This was my family. This was my husband and she was hurting him. Harry continued to wail quietly and I continued to hold onto him. You are my brightest light and you are our children's sturdiest rock and we adore you, Harry. So I promise myself to you, no matter what happens, no matter what we face. I promise to be your best friend and I promise to be your partner and your rock. Your support system...and I will never stray from your side. I remembered my vows like I said them yesterday. He was always, consistently, my rock and my support system. I knew it was my turn to step up. He'd never needed me, not like this, not until now. I sat down on the bed and he let me pull him down as well. His back was arched as he cried into my lap and I proceeded to rock him back and forth. Words weren't going to fix anything, at the moment, at least...but I wanted to be his shoulder. I'd watched him over the years, act so selflessly in everything that he did. He was such an incredible father and husband...he was our crusader and our defender and our advocate. He was everything that a man should be and I respected him and loved him more than anything for it.
"Nora..." He cries, grasping at me. "Nora, Nora, Nor-Nora." The sound of him was breaking my heart—ripping it to ragged shreds.
"I know, baby. I know—shh...you're okay. I'm right here. I'm right here, Harry, baby." My shirt and my arms were wet from his tears and his spit, and he reeked of bourbon.
"What have I...what have I done—oh god, what have I done?" I pulled him closer and held him tighter.
"Don't, please don't...you are not to blame. This is not on you, Harry—this is not on you, baby." I bury my face in his hair. "Evelyn was sick. She had to be...this was seven years ago. If she did this...it isn't your fault, please don't blame yourself, Harry...please." Finally, he lifts his head up. His face is swollen and puffy, his eyes bloodshot and his lips are raw and shiny.
"She left me the note, Nor...me."
"She..was..sick." I say it again, needing him to hear me. He shakes his head and I cup his sticky cheeks in my hands. "You are the best man that I know...you are strong, and kind...you're so brave and you're so good. I need you to know that, please, Harry...I need you to hear me when I say that this wasn't on you. Evelyn made a selfish choice. She put this on you when it shouldn't have been on anyone but herself. You..didn't..do this." He sniffles loudly and grabs my hands, holding onto them like his life depends on it.
"Then why do I feel like I did?"
"Because that's how she wanted you to feel. She wanted to leave you feeling guilty." He looked like a broken man, and I hated that. I hated her for making him feel this way—for doing this to him. I move my hands down to his neck and hold him, before pulling him up and off the bed. "Come here..." I take his hand and guide us both out into the hallway. I quietly open the door to Peter and Rosie's room and I wrap my arms around his torso. "Do you see those two perfect five year olds?" He nods. "We made them...they're you and they're me...and Harry, they adore you. You are their hero and they love you so much. They look up to you and they trust you." I close the door and then walk us back to our room. "Stay here, okay?" I go into the bathroom and grab the test. He's sitting on the bed again and I kneel down in front of him, the test hidden in my hands. "I realize that the timing of this is just...it's not great, but you need to see it, especially after what happened." I let my fingers fall away, revealing the plastic stick. He stares at my palms for a minute and then he carefully picks it up and observes it—those two glorious pink lines. I wished he wasn't still drunk, but I needed him to see it right now. I needed him to know how wonderful he really was, and how happy he's made me.
"When did you do this?"
"Right before the call came in." Without another word, he pulls me up and into his arms. "I need you, Harry." I cry softly against the fabric of his shirt. "This can't bring you down...and I know that's so much easier said than done, but I need you to be here with me, with our family." He presses his mouth to my forehead.
"I'm here." He promises, "And I'll be there with you, the whole time. I will, Nora."
"And I need you to know how much I love you. You...are my whole world, Harry."
"I love you—I love you, I swear, I love you." His words tickle my skin and I just want to be as close to him as I possibly can.
