☆bts angsts

on a day like this + m.y.g

Hey, this is a long chapter but, I'll be sure to set you to tears hheehhehehe

Please play the song to set you more tears. It really gives me the chills and i was on the verge of crying. HELLO MY TWENTIES / AGE OF YOUTH fans where are u????

Enough with my mouth that never shuts up let's get going

🌙

Smiling, i went up to yoongi. I was happy. Happy that he was still my seatmate this 4th semester. I was glad. But looking at his eyes, he didn't seem like he minds at all.

Sure, yes it aches my heart that he was always with my bestfriend, chae sou. But I'd rather be jealous than lose my friend.

She was not luring him, he just wanted to go to her. Which hurt me more. It hurts me that he, he approach her lovingly. Almost everyday.

"Y/n" oh how i loved the sound of his alluring voice. It was- he was perfect in anyway. 

Why do you give me false chances?

Stop. Just stop. Why do you come to me, smiling happily when it was all fake? Please stop. I don't want to hurt my feelings no more.

"Y/n, did you know" your bright shining eyes, it sents me to look at you more, as you said words coming out of your mouth. I wish i could stare at you forever.

"I like- nevermind. I shouldn't be saying this to you" my heartbeat stopped as soon as you said those words.

I couldn't think it was me yoongi. I couldn't wrap that in my head. It was too- it was too good to be true.  But one place in my heart was telling me the truth. The truth that it really was me.

I was oblivious. I was too oblivious that i followed. How stupid of me. Loving someone and that someone loves someone else?

My friends, they tried to block off my thoughts. But it was, it couldn't be real in anyway.

"did you hear that yoongi likes you?"

"You two are a perfect match!"

"When is he gonna ask you out?"

But it was a lie. A lie that i wanted to be true. A lie that i wanted to be real. No use. There's no use. It'll stay the same.

You can't change feelings from someone.

On a day like this, I'd just live in this small mind of my own. Where nothing is reality. My dream.

Sometimes, i get the urge to confront you. But it was hard. Too hard.

"Yoongi." You looked. I couldn't. I just couldn't. It was hard. It was too hard for me. If I'd do that, you'd probably reject me

"Y/n, what?" You were annoyed. On a day like this, when you'd hate to talk to me and back away. I hate those days. It happens frequently when chae sou is not around.

Am i just a toy? Yes probably. You're happy when she's there, you make me happy too. You're down when she's not around, you ignore me and make me sad. Then, there goes me. Who ruins everything for you.

Or so that's what i thought.

Yoongi, It's obvious. Dont hide it. You like her. You love her. But me being too focused on you, for me i didn't believe it even if it was true. It was my biggest mistake.

But then theres the mistake that I'd want to erase. Erase forever.

That mistake when i told my friend. I told my friend that i like you. She told me that she could be trusted. She'd never say it to anyone.

But she lied too. Like how your smile lied to me that you love me.

"Y/n is it true?" You looked with no emotions. Me being the biggest idiot, i decided to pretend not to know.

"What?" Trying to look realistic, i tried being stable. I tried looking tough and like nothing happened. Like an innocent person.

"Whatever." You left. That was those days when i feel depressed. I question my self if i was good for you. Which i am not.

On a day like this, you'd ignore me all day. I'm fine. Im fine with it yoongi.

But, I'd never change myself just for you.

Be yourself.

I remembered how i broke that promise. I started being like them. I started doing things that they do. I started to change my attitude. I started to try and fit in to your ideal girl.

But that just caused me trouble.

On a day like this when i confessed. It was a huge mistake.

That day when i purposely texted you to go to the classroom. Near the lockers. The lockers where you smiled to me. Where you looked at me just like how you looked at her. Where we'd talk. where i first developed feelings to you, to you yoongi

I told you to be with me for a second. You were weirded out. True. True. Who likes me anyways?

"Yoongi." I said your name out like a rhythm. Like a fragile word. Too fragile that it shouldn't be me saying this.

"Yoongi- i like you. No! I love you" i shut my eyes close as i heard you scoff. I slowly opened my eyes as i looked at you. I almost had the urge of crying.

"Sorry. I don't. On that day y/n, on that day when i almost told you who i liked- it was chae sou. I don't like you. Sorry."

With glossy eyes, i tried to accept that. But instead, i felt thousands of knifes stabbing my heart.

I started hating my bestfriend since that day. I started ignoring her. I did that mistake. My 3rd biggest mistake.

You hated me for that. You hated me. Because of me, she felt depressed that i didn't want her to be my best friend anymore.

I apologized. I apologized cause i didn't want to lose you or her.

Then that time when we fought about you. When she told me that it was you that keeped me like this.

On that day, i saw you hugging her when she cried. How you pat her head. And how she sobs in your chest. And how i wished you just loved me.

But i decided to end all of this. It was causing trouble to everyone around me. I didn't notice. That i was slowly changing.

i went back on to being me.

You two, you two were happy with each other. I tried to make myself happy too. Now that im out of the picture, She finally loved you. Just like how you wanted to.

i was in a one sided love.

I was a one sided person for the both of you.

The shaking landscape is,  just our story. The coming strom is, just become another song.