Tuckamore Bay

Matty's night in hell with William and Jarge

Matty sat back on the couch and lit a cigarette.

"Once upon a time there was a woman named Matty. She did a favour for her new neighbour, William, who had lost a fight with a seagull and nearly got his nipple bit off.

She took William to the hospital, where after a ten minute sewing session, they saved his nipple and then pumped him full of painkillers.

From there, Matty took an injured seagull to the local vet where the vet fixed the seagull's broken wing, as best he could. And he informed us that the gull might never fly again.

Hearing this news, William broke down into tears and proceeded to tell everyone in the vet's office that it was all his fault and that he would do everything in his power to make sure that the seagull's last few days on earth would be the best that he could provide.

William then proceeded to buy a dog bed for said seagull, along with various chew ties, a collar and a leash. He then tearfully told the young woman at the vet's front counter that it was all for his favourite pet, Jarge.

He then bought a carrier for Jarge and we drove back to Tuckamore Bay."

Matty sipped on her beer, staring at Bill the whole time. 

"Well that doesn't sound too bad?" Bill half ask, half stated, adding, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at the vet's office.

And who is Jarge?"

Matty dragged heavily on her cigarette, blew the smoke directly at Bill and ignored his question.

"That was the good part of my day," she barked.

Bill sat back on the couch.

"Oh shit. It gets better?"

Nanny Dove chuckled, not missing a stitch.

Matty put her beer on the coffee table.

"Then we got home.

You were tired and stoned, so you decided to go straight to bed, which I thought was a great idea. By the time I got in the house with Jarge, you were already gone to the bedroom. I decided to check on you before I got Jarge settled.

Were you in bed?

Of course not. You were sitting on the bed, staring out the window.

When I asked you what was wrong, you started crying and pointed to the window, saying,

 'That's where I almost killed Jarge. If I hadn't put up that screen, he would be out there flying around with his other seagull buddies, tearing open garbage bags and shitting on my truck.'

I reminded you that it was Freddy Simpson who put up the screens. You wanted me to phone the police and have Freddy arrested for attempted murder.

It took me twenty minutes to convince you it was an accident and that Jarge would be okay and that I would make Freddy pay for his part."

Matty picked up her beer and took a mouthful, dragged on her cigarette and dropped the butt in the beer bottle. Taking a long, deep breath, she continued.

"It took me another five minutes to talk you into going to bed. Then you wanted me to tuck you in.

I told you to undress and get in bed and I would be back to make sure you were okay, but you insisted that I undress you and tuck you in.