| COMPLETE | THE SEQUEL 'Hate Me Tomorrow' IS OUT NOW | no translations |
"Tell me about when you do hate me." He insisted.
Our chests were inches apart and his nose was very close to mine. I was looking up at him as he still stood towering over me...
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I'd been back at the apartment for a few hours. I was planning on packing for our trip but I'd been sitting on the floor of the bathroom the whole time.
My back was against the shower, facing the toilet but a few feet away.
I'd been staring at the spot where I found Juliet since I got back.
I just couldn't wrap my mind around everything. I was so confused and I couldn't think about anything else.
It made me feel better that Yuna was with her but I was still uneasy about the whole situation.
I was more than confused and I just couldn't handle hearing Juliet try and explain it to me right now.
Seeing her and hearing her was too overwhelming. Which doesn't make sense.
You'd think after thinking she died I'd never want to leave her side but this very moment it was the exact opposite.
I couldn't be near here. I was angry, confused, frustrated, annoyed...sad. I was so sad. Sad for Juliet and for myself unfortunately.
I wasn't pitying myself but I sure as hell wasn't easy on myself either. I felt like I failed Juliet by making her feel like she couldn't come to me.
I was sad for Juliet because I couldn't imagine how helpless she felt. How worried and scared she was.
It was all very overwhelming and I knew if I stayed with her in the hospital I wouldn't have been able to handle it.
Staring at the floor made it that much more clear how unstable I was about this.
I had decided on the way back that I was going to wait to show Jules the songs.
They were so important and I wanted her first time hearing them to be nothing but joyful and happy.
I didn't want that memory to be tainted with this one. I didn't want her to think back to the first time she ever heard them and automatically think about the time she OD'd. I wanted them to be completely separate.
I was going to show her after our trip to Cheshire. If I felt like it was right.
Things with me and Jules seemed iffy right now but there was no way I was going to give up on her.
I felt sick to my stomach knowing I left her thinking I did but couldn't think straight. I hope she knows how much she means to me.
I'd make it up to her when she was discharged. We'd figure this out and everything while not normal, would be okay.
She'd come home to me in a day or two, she'd sleep next to me, I'd make her coffee in the morning and everything would work out.
