Leader Of The Mafia {h.s}

029

Harry Styles

As I watched Bree exit my bedroom, I wasn't sure how I felt. What did I feel?

She seemed angry, an emotion I know all too well. She wasn't happy, like she usually is; well, when I'm not pissing her off.

She said that I used her. I only talk to her if it means I can touch her in physical sexual ways. Was that true? No. But I do know why it could come off that way.

I just can't express my feelings. Every time I ever tried to express emotions or talk about anything really, I get shut down. So you know, I just, stopped. What was the point anyways?

I wanted to talk to her again. But I had no idea why. Maybe she made me feel less lonely? Amongst all the woman I've abducted, Breelyn made me feel...

I don't know what she made me feel. But it was something. I can't deny that, as much as I wish I could; I simply can not.

As I blew out the last of the joint, I didn't crush it on my skin, that was only cigarettes. I walked over to the balcony, throwing it off.

Sometimes it would be nice to live like a joint. People go to you when they're stress, you're wanted. You're fun, amusing. And when they're done with you, you get thrown out off of a balcony. It must be nice, you know? Once you're all used up, you're easily gone with no more worries. A joint's life seems...simple.

But why am I talking about a joint like it's a real living and breathing thing?

I smoke for a distraction, and Bree was starting to become a distraction. I've smoked less. And when I do smoke, she's always there to light it for me.

I mean seriously, I couldn't like her. It's just mostly been me and her for almost four months straight, so I'd obviously start questioning if I had felt something for her. It makes sense now. She was just a distraction, right? I don't like her, not at all.

She was nice to kiss though. The way her soft lips pressed on mine, the way her skin felt against my hand, the way she-

Damnit, I'm doing it again, aren't I?

It's not that complicated. I just need to get her out of my mind, and the business in. She can't get in my head when there is business involved.

The only way that Bree will leave my head is if I let her go, but I can't yet, someone still needs to meet her, but they haven't yet. Once they meet her, that's when I can let Bree go. Or kill her. Either one is fine with me.

They'll be out in eight months to meet Bree. They have wanted to for a long time, but never got the chance to. And now, sooner or later, they will.

I walked out of my bedroom, leaving my thoughts behind. I went to look for Bree, even though I'm probably the last person she wants to see.

Bree was downstairs, sitting on the couch with her legs propped up. I didn't even notice myself staring at her until she called my name.

"Harry? What are you looking at?" She huffed, I bit my lip lightly at her attitude, proceeding downstairs.

"What? Can I not stare at you?" I tried to play it off, even though I had no clue I was staring at her while I hung on the railing like an idiot.

I walked down the stairs and fell back onto the couch next to her.

"I'm mad at you. So no." She crossed her arms with a slight shake of her head.

"You know what." I started in realization, "I know I said that you keep crawling back to me, but I keep crawling back to you, Breelyn." I spoke my true thoughts, but immediately regretted it once I realized I had.