21 Jump Street (Tom Hanson)

Tom's Regret

Tom's POV
October 1990

It feels like it has been years since I moved to Virginia, but it's only been a few months. My new apartment in Virginia was bigger than the one in Metropolis, but it did not feel like home.

Mickey could have said one thing, anything, and I never would have come. Just one word, and I would have stayed. But she was too supportive, and never would have expressed anything to show that she did not want me to leave. But I fell in love with her, and I gave her my heart completely. It was the moment I felt that she felt that way too, was when I fell in love with her.

Every day, my drive from work to my new apartment made me pass rivers and roads, which always reminds me of all that I left behind in Metropolis. This situation may not be permanent... technically... but it still gave me great pain. Ten years is a very long time.

Instead of staggering out of some random bar like I've found myself doing almost every night, I stumbled into the apartment after grocery shopping. And by grocery shopping, I mean buying beer and pizza rolls. I threw the key onto an empty corner of the kitchen counter with a clank before I threw the pizza rolls in my brand new microwave, which I love. It can thaw and heat up foods in a matter of seconds, even if it is frozen. I need to tell Mickey about my microwave because neither of us have ever had one. They're so efficient and high-tech.

I glanced at the end of the letter I've been composing to send to her next, and figured I'd send it off tomorrow. I send all my letters with great love, because I have a fear that one day she will forget about me. I used to think that I could live without romance, but that was until she came into my life. Now, I know that I will go on loving her for eternity. She is always on my mind.

"Remember that I will always be in love with you. Please, treasure these few words until we are together again.
Keep all my love forever."

All my boxes arrived a couple weeks ago, but I have had no motivation to unpack. I've been procrastinating for no apparent reason. I sat in the living room, surrounded by the boxes. I have not bought a couch yet either, so I was sitting on the floor. My legs were bent and my arms rested on my knees with a beer in my hand and the rest of the case sat between my legs for easy access.

I didn't want to unpack in case I managed to get out of my contract and move back to Metropolis. I could revert everything and go back and everything would be just the way it was. I was regretting my decision, and I blamed it on having a quarter-life crisis. My life was great back in Metropolis. I had a good job, a great dog, and an amazing girlfriend—almost fiancée. I was a fool to let her go.

What have I done?

I never asked Mickey to wait for me, because I knew that would be selfish. Ten years would be so selfish. I couldn't make her spend her whole life just waiting for me. She is so amazing, I know that she will make someone else as happy as she made me. I could not ask her to come with me, because I know how dedicated she is to Jump Street and her future was in Metropolis and she wouldn't be happy in Springfield. I could never ask her to choose me over the career she has worked so hard for. Plus, the DEA was very strict about uprooting my entire life, and I had to do it alone. I already broke one rule; I gave her my address so we could write to each other.

My love for Mickey was not just going to go away, and I do not think it ever will. If I was given everything in the world, I'd trade it all for her. She will be in my heart, now and forever. I know I hurt her when I walked away from us. The physical distance that separated us caused an undeniable pain that I did not know I was capable of feeling. I thought that if we spent some time apart, our love would grow stronger... but it hurts so bad, I don't think I can take it much longer. It's all my fault.