21 Jump Street (Tom Hanson)

Awomp-Bomp-Aloobomp-Aloop-Bamboon

Based on the episode Awomp-Bomp-Aloobomp-Aloop-Bamboon
February 1990

If I said that the squadroom was cold, that would be an understatement. It was the dead of winter, and the heat was broken in the chapel. Everyone was shivering at their desks, and we had a little television that we recently brought in that was playing a short comedy from the 1930's called The Fatal Glass of Beer, and we were all relating to the characters because they were suffering in the snow as well.

Fuller recently assigned me, Mickey, and Doug to a cult based out of a university. They say that they are "leftist radical neo-communists". We are investigating them because they blew up the school newspaper.

I had my favorite winter trapper hat on that has warm fur lining, with a warm brown scarf over my face that hid my nose, cheeks, and mouth from the cold, along with another thick scarf and a winter coat. I began to wonder if the outside was warmer than the inside because my blood was slowly turning to ice.

I was reading a magazine while I could hear Ioki fiddling with the water cooler. The main suspect I've been watching for this case has been looking at this particular magazine issue lately, so I got it just to see what he was looking at.

Judy was bundled up at her desk right next to the television screen and she shouted, "hey, Kennedy, you handymen fix the heating in this igloo?"

"I'm working on it," Kennedy called back. Kennedy is the janitor from another precinct. He is only here because Blowfish is on vacation and we complained a lot about the heat. Or lack thereof.

I didn't look up from my magazine while Doug said, "actually, I read in National Geographic that igloos are quite toasty."

I could hear Kennedy continuously banging on the metal furnace with more metal. I'm not a handyman myself, but that didn't seem to be working very well. The heat is still broken.

Judy wasn't having it. "You know what you can do with your toasty. I want heat. I want fire. I want a vacation!"

I flipped through my magazine and saw a page called The Girls of Spring Break which caught my eye. Is this why that perv is obsessed with this magazine?

"Can you believe Sal has two weeks off?" Ioki grumbled. "Think of what you could do with two weeks off."

"And he's in Florida. Oh, the sun," Judy said dreamily.

"The beaches," Ioki added.

"I'd kill to be in Florida right now," Mickey said. She was sitting at her desk, with almost every inch of her skin was covered in thick fabric. She hates the cold.

"Busch Gardens," I exclaimed during my reading. I stopped on a picture of a woman in her swimsuit, but I had no desire to look at her. I have a girlfriend who is far more beautiful. I immediately flipped the page, and continued reading.

Fullers voice said, "either you're all suffering from cabin fever, or the pods have taken over."

I looked up when I heard Judy stand up, "Captain, I want to know why Sal got a vacation. Doesn't detective outrank maintenance engineer?"

Ioki spoke up, "I have seniority."

"Excuse me, I have seniority," Mickey stated through her chattering teeth.

"Do you remember who welcomed you to Jump Street?!" Judy asked loudly. Turns out, she gets seniority.

"I haven't had a proper vacation since December of 1988," Mickey claimed. She gestured to her face and said, "look at this face. I need fun."