It Wasn't Supposed To Happen

43

Aniruddh felt like he had lost all his senses. He was standing with his back to the door of his room after locking it from inside. Fresh tears came out but no more cries. He blinked them back only to invite more. He headed towards the bathroom removing his coat and shirt in the process, throwing them to floor one by one. Kicking his shoes off he entered the bathroom and stood under the shower after removing rest of the items and closed his eyes.
Tears hiding in the water, he wanted to cry. Cry and let it all out once before he went to her. He could not be weak infront of her. That won't do. He wanted to cry to clear his head. Clear his heart of hatred towards his Kaka. Cry just once. But he couldn't even do that. The past days had been so much...
He was all out of sobs...
He knew he soon would be out of tears too...

Bondita lay on her bed, lying on her left side facing the door. Awaiting his entrence.
Her Pati Babu...

But she suddenly was not sure she wanted to meet him. Her hand went to her belly. A baby... There was a baby in there. All she had thought before, it was way too overwhelming than her imagination. A life inside her.
His life...

It was something he gave her...
His child...

The thought made her wish he didn't come to her today. She very well knew he was the only one who could make her happy but how was she going to face him...?
This was the complexity he was talking about. This... distance... The distance they didn't want but was ironically imposed on them by a feat to bring them closer. How will he talk to her ?
How will he look at her... With guilt, sadness or disgust...?
Was it going to be the same like before...?

Bondita heard the door open to find him standing there in fresh dhoti kurta, wet hair and drained eyes that met her's.

It was not going to be the same...
Never...
They had, due to any reason, crossed boundaries not meant for them to even look at...
They had now what could never be corrected...
She had his baby inside her...
It is not going to ever be the same again...

She turned on her bed to face away from him...

It was evening...sun was about to set but she had no lights on. The only source being a candle kept at her study table and light crossing her glassed doors from the outside.

She heard him close the door and closed her eyes in response. He drew a chair near her and sat there. He did not even sit on her bed.
No matter how much she felt awkward in being in his presence, this small gesture hurt her. But she understood him...

The silence was not a comfortable one. It felt like they were trapped with each other on a boat. No where to go...

" Bondita..." She heard him whisper with a soft sigh which made her grip her pillow beneath her head and stifle a sniff. " How are you feeling...?" She could feel he was being very cautious. With words, tone, body language. His voice seemed distant. Just a peek, she turned to take just a peek. He was sitting on the chair with his back to her. She swiftly turned back buring her right cheek in the pillow, this time a sniff escaped. He was not even facing her.

Aniruddh felt a movement and then her muffled sniff. Was she crying...? Was she ok ?

" Bondita...?" He got up and turned his chair to face her way now before taking his seat. " I know... you...you don't want me here..." Why would she ? He ruined her life. " But it is really important...that...that you talk..." He bent over her, he was sure she sensed his closeness. " Talk to me Bondita... No more secrets... Please..."

Should she...? What would it matter now ? But the desperation in his voice moved her a little. She was sure it wasn't a cake walk for him to come to her room today but he still did.