It Wasn't Supposed To Happen

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Bondita didn't mind being bent over, didn't notice her back hurting but he had, so he folded his left knee to give her back a support to rest on. She just knew she had to be there for him. Stroking his hair, letting him know she was going nowhere.

" Pati Babu..." She whispered. She didn't know why, she just wanted to call him, wanted him to hear her. He held her hand that had reached his chest now.

" You should go and sleep Bondita. " He spoke without opening his eyes.

" I am not going anywhere..."

" You should...you will catch a cold..."

" I am not leaving you..."

" You...you know why I am not opening my eyes ?"

" Why...?" She asked, getting confused.

" You...are not dressed properly..."

" I have my shawl..." It had gone somewhere. Well it was not around her anymore. And the lamp at the side table was making it clear what she was wearing and what...not.

" I will be alright..." He said.

" I am with my Pati Babu..." Bondita dared to say it. When she had asked him to kiss him, right here, right in this room, he had refused. She knew she had not wanted it. And today... today he could tell that she was alright with it. Alright with him looking at her like that as she saw him slowly open his eyes. She had slept with him without a blouse, but it always had been dark. Today she felt like she was wearing nothing. The light focused on her and so did his eyes. Was it unfair of her ? Unfair that she had pushed him away at the time of her suffering but wanted him to take comfort in her arms today ? She could tell now how much he must have wanted to hold her and console her that night. She had been right on her part back then and so was he. She wanted nothing to stop him from getting a little solace tonight. And no amount of shame she felt was going to stop her from being a comfort to her Pati Babu.

Bondita felt him drag her hand up to his left cheek as his eyes pierced her. Even in this moment, his gaze was respectful, as if asking for permission to even look at her. She bent a little closer to him. Her heart beating in anticipation. She was sure he could see right through the flimsy night saree he had bought her. A light shade of pink. Her hair, open, now spilled on his chest. He had seemed to notice it too. A pile of pillows supported him making it quite easy for him to eye her. His gaze searching her face for a sign for him to stop, like every time he did whenever they got close. He wasn't going to find one today. His lips kissed her palm and she closed her eyes to savour it. So close she was to him that it was hard for her to not fall on him or he might notice how her heart hammered.

His hand slowly traveled up her arm. She didn't know what he was doing. Or his intentions. He still had sadness in his eyes. Pain and guilt. She wanted to take that away. Maybe in the moment he needed comfort and he might not need this closeness tomorrow. She knew in her heart that was the case. This was the moment of his weakness. But if that is what he needed, that is what she would give him.

Will it hurt her tomorrow when he realises he has gotten over it ? Yes...

Will she regret it...? No...

His fingers were now on her shoulder, right at the border of her saree, he pushed it away. Her shoulder bare now. She could not look at him. No... His hand traced her long hair over her back. His touch gliding down her skin, she knew he was observing her expression for any sign of displeasure. She herself didn't know what he must be seeing. She herself didn't understand it.

" Look at me Bondita..." She had not expected his voice to be so soft. She didn't know why. Maybe because she knew if she spoke right now, it won't be calm like his. Or soft. Or pleading. She felt him press his hand on her skin, her bare back, pushing her to him. Her left hand grabbed hold of his night shirt in fear. " Shhhh..." His hand tried to soothe her back but it was doing the opposite. " Just once...look at me Bondita..." He nudged her cheek with his nose. And she felt her heart fill with love for this man. Remembering yet again why she had fallen in love with him. How easy it was to love him. Half clothed, pressed up against him and he still was just requesting. Asking politely. After all he had gone through tonight, he still knew she was scared of this new possibility. Whatever it was...