Fatal Obsession (BxB)

S4:C22; This Feels Unfair

I hope you enjoyyyy!!!

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Three Days Later...

Cameron was finally released from the hospital along with a bunch of medications, a cast around his lower right leg, and a wheelchair. He had been in a coma for a little over two days due to his overdose and suicide attempt, and he still seemed exhausted even as we pulled into our driveway. I had not said anything to him since he'd woken up, and he hadn't uttered a word towards me. He hadn't even looked at my face.

I hated that we were both acting this way. I hated that I couldn't think of anything to say to let him know how sorry I was for not being able to find him without Cooper's help, but at the same time I was thankful to be so oblivious for words. Now didn't feel like the time to try to unload all of my self guilt, pity, and sorrow onto him. It would have been selfish and cruel since he'd only just gotten back home from such a torturous environment.

I carefully helped him out of my Land Rover, and didn't bother setting him down so that I could grab his wheelchair. Instead, I carried him up to the porch, unlocked the front door, and then took him into our bedroom. He groaned softly as I lay him down in the center of our mattress and my heart ached for my poor lover while he slowly wriggled around until he was comfortable. I hadn't realized until a tear had rolled down my face and fallen onto his cheek that I was starting to cry.

I felt like I had failed Cameron in every way. His doctor explained that he developed an eating disorder while he was trapped in Graham's basement, which caused him to eat less than 800 calories a day—and I knew it was because of how incorrectly I had praised his body in the past. Although I worshipped my husband's figure, I had never meant to make him think that I couldn't love him if he looked any different.

His mental state deteriorated so quickly because of how horribly my search went for him. He spent ten days being used, abused, and made to suffer. He put up with so much of their torturing, hoping that I'd find him soon, but I didn't. And when he realized that I couldn't, he tried to kill himself. When it came down to brass tacks, I had to accept the fact that my incompetence was the reason Cameron had tried to do it. My failure to be there for him, breaking my own promise to always keep him safe, to always keep him beside me and make sure nothing bad ever happened... I disappointed him tremendously.

A couple more of my tears had fallen onto my husband's skin as I stroked up and down his chest, and my heart stuttered when he lifted one of his hands to grab my shirt and tug on it until I crawled over him. "Please don't cry, baby. It's not your fault, I swear. I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely, sounding like he was crying himself as I hovered over his frail body. "I mean it, Gi-gi. I'm so sorry," he said before breaking down into a deep sob. I scooped him into my embrace and turned over so that he could lay on top of me. "I didn't want to do it. I just couldn't—"

Hi.   L"You don't owe me any apology," I said sternly as I squeezed him tight. "You were exhausted, and scared, and felt alone. I'm sorry I took so long. I really did try my hardest to find you, but I would have never been able to guess where Graham's house was."

"I know you tried your best," my husband sniffled. "I'm really sorry for being so selfish."

"Stop apologizing," I hushed him. "You've been dragged through such a merciless hell. I mean, what you did cannot and will not be justified..."

"I know," he mewled.

"But I understand why you tried it."

"I'll never do it again," he said in a soft, sincere tone.