My Youtuber One Shots (Completed)

My Promise

Jonathan's POV:

What's the point in life? Why do we have to live our life to the fullest? Why do we even have to live? I don't see life as something to live for. I see it as a waste of time and death will just bring us happiness.

But I have to hide it all. Especially when I'm with my friends. It's just something that I'm used to. Pretend to be happy so that others don't notice my pain. I can remember feeling this way since I was a kid. I remember moving in with my foster parents and just losing the will of feelings.

It's just something everyone has to get used too. I don't think I have shown an ounce of sadness to my friends. Maybe I wanted to be strong for them. But whenever I'm alone I can feel the darkness seep inside. I break whenever no one is around.

I guess I need attention like a lost puppy. If I have no one I guess death would be the best option. That and pain. Pain is the thing that keeps me sane. I remember the first time I had cut myself. Just feeling the pain shot up my arm. It tells me that I'm an actual person.

It tells me that I have feelings and emotions other than pretend happiness or depression. It gives me the idea that I'm living and I could easily just take my life away. It could be easily done with just a slip of my blade on my wrist.

I just said goodbye to a man that I considered my brother. His name is Luke. I know he could tell something's happening but has no proof. He keeps asking if I'm alright but with the many lies I have told I said yes.

He came over with my other friend Marcel. He wanted to have just a guy's day out and we went to an arcade. We had fun, well more like I had to fake that I was having fun. But I know a tiny bit of my was enjoying it. We played so many games and got tickets.

I didn't want any of mine and they gladly took it themselves. I was waiting for them to exchange them when I saw a couple walking down the pier. I don't know why but I felt my heart ache in pain. It felt like I was missing a part of something and my heart said to follow them.

This was a strange feeling that I never felt so I followed them. They were holding hands and the girl was smiling at what the guy said. They ended off at the end of the pier and were staring at the sunset. They then looked at each other and kissed.

I looked away and I returned back to my friends. This feeling was just very strange and I wanted it to go away. I knew I wanted to head home as there was a way to get rid of it. My trusty blade. I'll just focus on the pain then the strange feeling I had felt.

I walked back to the arcade and I saw the guys just got little knick knacks that they had. We decided to head back to my home for some hot cocoa but I'm just counting the minutes til they leave. After an hour of just talking they decided to leave.

Now this is where I am breathing heavily as it's been a while since I've done it. They wouldn't leave me alone for a while as they tired me out that I fall asleep. I stumbly walk to the bathroom to get my blade. I keep it in a blue box and I clean it every time I use it.

I slowly take it out of the box and watch the shine from it. I put the blade softly on my wrist and with one swift move..... a trickle of blood slowly started to form. I smile at the pain it just gives me. I make another cut and another. Soon without realizing ten new cuts were formed with blood flowing out each one.

I look at the blood dripping down my arm and I knew this was my time. I know pain wouldn't last forever. I know this was just temporary pain that would last for a while but death would last forever. It will get rid of my feelings and I would just feel pain. Death is the best option.

I was about to make another cut when I heard a knock from the bathroom door that's open......  Wait a knock on the bathroom door?! I turn around so fast that I forgot that there was blood running down my arms. I turn around to see the shock brown eyes of my brother.