76:
"They laughed." He repeated while letting me cry in his hug. Ramdam na ramdam ko iyong sakit na matagal ko nang ipinagkakait na balikan, na pilit ko nang gustong kalimutan. It's still there... why?
Bakit nandun pa rin? Ayaw ko na nga hindi ba? Pagod na nga akong umiyak sa rason na ito hindi ba? Pero bakit? Bakit ganito pa rin? Nakaalis na naman ako sa mapait na dala dala nitong nangyari sa akin noon, ah? Pero bakit masakit pa rin?
Hindi naman dahil sa hindi ako maka umasad mula sa nakaraan, pero dahil siguro... ang sugat na tinanim nila sa akin, panghabang buhay ang epekto. Na kahit anong mangyari dala dala mo na.
The effect it has... it's permanent, it's never ending, it's unchanging.
Pinakalma niya ako habang umiiyak, at sa yakap niya pakiramdam ko pwede akong maging mahina kahit saglit lang, na pwede ko munang ilabas ang sama ng loob ko kahit konti lang, kasi... may naging kaibigan man ako matapos nang pangyayaring iyon... pakiramdam ko mag-isa pa rin ako.
Pero ngayon... sa bisig niya... sa bisig niya ko muling naramdaman na may kasama na ako. Na may kasangga na ako. Na may kakampi na ako.
I've been alone for so long that I've been so used to it... that now someone finally opened me up fully... I felt the overwhelming emotions of joy, sadness, and it felt so strange...
Nang medyo kumalma na ako, hinaharap ko sina Yana. Umiiyak pa rin sila, at naghihintay na magsalita na ako.
"They... laughed." Nauutal na sambit ko. Pinahid ang luha sa mga mata at saka tumingala. Hindi na rin ako lumipat ng upo at nanatili ako sa tabi ni Singkit habang hinahagod niya ang likod ko.
"How funny that phrase is..." May nakabara yata sa lalamunan ko kaya hirap na hirap akong magsalita. "It connotes positivity, right?" I asked them. They nodded silently. "It is positive, really, but... one thing changed it for me. That one thing changed it for me." I told them emotionally, tears could not stop from falling.
"The day they laughed... Was the day I cried." Napatakip ako ng mukha kasi pakiramdam ko naririnig ko na naman iyong pagtawa nila sa tainga ko. Pakiramdam ko nakikita ko na naman iyong mga mata nilang kinasusuklaman ako.
It scares me... it scares the daylight out of me.
"I was bullied... mentally... emotionally... physically..." Every words was so hard to say. Sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam. Sobrang hirap na tuloy huminga, kasi barado na iyong ilong ko.
Hindi ulit ako makapagsalita at hinayaan ko muna ang sarili kong umiyak nang umiyak. Naramdaman ko ang kamay ni Singkit na pinatatahan ako, pero hindi ko magawang kumalma.
Hanggang sa narinig kong magsalita siyang muli.
"Dear bully..." I broke down. I broke down again.
When he stated those words... I was shattered to pieces. So... he read it? So I gave the wrong book to him? So I gave that full of pain and misery journal to him instead of the song book?
Now it made sense... why he looked so serious and mad, why he suddenly acted cold towards Rence, and why he suddenly treated me indifferently.
"Dear bully..." He repeated emotionally.
"You made fun of me again today,
You called me thousands of names,"
Karmela suddenly came to me and hugged me. She cried too as I cried. It was only those words pero tumagos talaga sa kanila, kasi sobrang nasasaktan sila para sa akin. At sobrang nasasaktan ako para sa sarili ko.
Why did this happen to me? What did I do so wrong?
"You made me feel worthless,
And useless,"
BINABASA MO ANG
Reminiscence: From Me To You
Teen Fiction[COMPLETED] Reminiscence: From Me To You Tell me a story. Tell me your story. On how you became distant from the people you loved, On how you became invisible in the crowd. With all the scars that you hide and the tears you let no one see, Afraid...
