I sat on the small chair outside my house, that was seated on my porch. I was curled up reading a book as the sunlight warmed up my body.
"Hey Y/N/N," Carl said spooking me a little, I hadn't seen him coming up the stairs.
"Hey," I said placing the book down beside me. Carl and I were kind of a thing but I never made anything go further than that. I had never told Carl but before he found me about a year ago and I became part of the group I had a boyfriend of 2 years. We met when we were 14 and then got together at 15, then when I turned 17 he died from a walker attack that I couldn't save him from. Now I'm 18 along with Carl and I'm afraid that the same thing will happen with Carl if we got together. And I didn't want to get him hurt, and I don't think I could bear the pain of losing someone else who was close to me.
Carl sat down beside me and looked at me.
"What" I chuckled placing a stray hair behind my ear.
"Nothing" He said looking away. His hand scooched closer to mine and my heart started to race. I reached out for it and grabbed it intertwining out fingers. He smiled over at me and for a split second everything from the past disappeared. I quickly came back to reality and pulled back my hand.
"I have to go," I said quickly grabbing my book and running inside slamming the door and running upstairs. Memories of my past love came flooding back as I slammed the door to my room sliding down the door and crying into my knees.
"Y/N what's going on did I do something," Carl's voice said.
"N-no" I choked out trying not to sound like I was crying.
"What's going on are you okay," He asked.
"I--I'm fine," I said through sobs trying to dry my eyes.
"Please open up," He said quietly through the door.
I got up and opened the door to see Carl standing on the other side. He quickly gave me a hug. I hesitantly hugged back before crying into his chest. I looked up at him after a while still holding onto his waist. My eye's locked with his blue one. He slowly leaned in and I crashed my lips onto his softly.
"I should tell you something," I said as I pulled away. He nodded with a confused look on his face. I grabbed his hand and closed the door sitting on the bed.
"Before you found me about a year ago. I had a boyfriend of two years. I loved him with all my heart and he was the only person I trusted in this shit world. It was only him and I but one day we were out looking for food when a heard of walkers overran us. I couldn't save him and he died. The worst part was I couldn't kill him after he turned so he might still be out there roaming around as a walker" I said trying to conceal my sobs as a couple tears ran down my cheeks. "I wasn't myself for the longest time, and I couldn't bear the pain of losing him anymore, that's when you found him, and now I want to be with you so badly but I'm afraid of losing you, I don't think I could take losing you" I said holding his hand.
"I promise you, I will try my damn hardest to survive," He said softly wiping a tear from my cheek with his thumb. "That must have been terrible for you and I'm sorry that you went through all that much pain and I wish there was a way I could make it all disappear," He said with a small smile.
"Thank you, Carl" I smiled and hugged him.
"Anything Y/N/N" He smiled.
I leaned in kissing him once more before laying my head on his chest. We both fell back and lied on the bed slowly falling asleep in each other's arms.
___________________________
1 Year Later:
Carl and I officially got together. We told Maggie who had been waiting for us to get together forever. I was slowly accepting that my last love was gone. And now I had Carl who I couldn't be more thankful for.
"Goodmorning Beautiful" I heard Carl say with his morning voice.
"Goodmorning" I smiled and faced him. His hair was all messy and on his face which made me giggle as I pushed strays out of his view.
"Thanks" He smiled grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him.
"I love you" I whispered pecking his lips.
"I love you too," He said returning another kiss to my lips.
