My Love is a Star (BTS Suga Fanfiction)

27. Denial

Stage 1

What is Denial?

The book says, "Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on if we can go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to simply get through each day.

Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible. Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle. As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade. But as you proceed, all the feelings you were denying begin to surface."
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The sound of the spatula hitting the frying pan roared across the room.

"Get up! Get up!" Suga shouted on top of his lungs as he hit the frying pan over and over with immense force.

RM and V groaned in their beds.  V covered his head with two pillows but Suga only pulled them off and threw them across the room.

"Enough sleep already! Look how puffy your faces are!"

"Kids! Ya!"  ( giving Jimin a nudge with his foot)

"You better get your asses off those beds when I come back."

Suga did a couple more rounds with the frying pan until everyone was a zombie walking towards the dining area.

"It's 6 in the morning!  What the heck!"  He was pulling a handful of his hair in so much annoyance.

Suga eyed him a shot of death with the way he talked. Jhope was too sleepy to care.

"What? We even wake up much earlier when we were trainees and you didn't complain even once!"

"We're not trainees anymore.." JHope muttered under his breath.

"Hyung! Aren't you supposed to be in bed at this time? You were always the last one to wake up. What has gotten into you?" Jimin said with his eyes still closed as he spoke.

"I cooked breakfast so sit your ass already. I'm not eating all these alone."

Jin started to get what this was all about.

"He always eats breakfast alone.." Jimin whispered to V who was basically still in dreamland.

The table was filled with Jajangmyeon, Ramen, Kimchi fried rice, and samgyeopsal.

"You cooked all these?" (He said in between his yawns) Jungkook asked.

"I'm good at cooking you ungrateful little brats."  An irritated look on his face as he cuts the meat into smaller strips.

"Jin Hyung was always the one to cook breakfast. Are you..." Jin cut RM off from his speculations knowing Suga was starting to get pissed off.

"Stop complaining and start eating or you'll wash the dishes by yourself."
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The boys just got back to their dorm after 18 hours of shooting their latest video 'Not Today'. Everyone was exhausted from all the repetitive dances they have to make until they get an OK from the director.

"Ohhhhh.. my back hurts..that MV was the hardest one so far...do we still have patches??" Jimin tried to lay himself on the couch but JungKook pushed him off making him fall to the floor.

"And we still have even more scenes tomorrow.  Argh...I can feel myself aging by the second.." Jin sprawled himself across the floor as the sofa was occupied by the younger ones.

"I feel so lethargic.." Jhope was about to pass out but Suga suddenly tapped his shoulder.

"Kids! I'm feeling generous today. Why don't we head to the nearest spa and get some dinner afterward? My treat!" He seemed to be the only one who could pull a cheerful tone among the members.

Everyone started cheering and clapping in delight.

"I'll go shower real quick!" Jungkook headed towards the bathroom but V suddenly got in his way and shut the door in his face.

"Me first!"

"Ya!" He pounded his fist on the door and walked away rolling his eyes. But he instantly returned to the door and said, "we won't be taking a shower anymore, we'll go on without you!"

"What?!"

Jungkook let out an evil laugh.

*****
Suga went on with his unusual cheerfulness, thoughtfulness, and generosity for a week. The younger ones were very delighted with this sudden stir in his personality not noticing what's been lying behind the happy face.

JungKook specifically was like having the time of his life. He'd constantly tag along with Suga for lamb skewers and beer. Suga would even buy him stuff he obviously didn't need. He was spoiling him.

The seniors were starting to recognize that there was something wrong with the other member. He never wants to be alone. He didn't even get into his studio for days and that's really something to take note of. He would laugh all the time which makes things even scarier. 

In turn, Jhope, RM, and Jin would exchange looks every time something like this happens. Suga was never the one to express himself. He keeps things inside long enough until he explodes. Hence, the scene he made in the dressing room that one time. It would only take a little more time before this volcano inside of him erupts.